Casa Del Hermo

The Frog's Trail

2011-12-27T15:12:00.000+02:00

Made this video yesterday, after going with 5 of my friends on an epic and fun filled hike! Enjoy..

Song #1 - In My Life - Beatles

2011-12-25T10:49:00.003+02:00

I'm learning the guitar and sometimes I post my beginner songs on youtube... This ties in with my new idea of finding awesome things to do with my blog...

This blog is still here

2011-12-25T10:38:00.003+02:00

Okay, so this blog is still here...it will be an online archive of a lot of my early writing. But I can't help but feel that its purpose is not yet run...that it is destined for something more...

Should it become a repository for my thoughts? A place where i post my favourite songs at the moment - is it time to switch over to a tumblr? Or should I start writing socio-political stuff again...I like blogging and writing, but time to do it has become really thin. With all the social media stuff around, my passion for tweeting notwithstanding, my ability to share on facebook, where does a blog about my thoughts, rants and ideas really fit in?

I suppose the reality is that i need to create a truly integrated online persona, filtering both my blog (actively) into a social media feed that drives interest in me and creates followers. But thats only if I have something to write about...I need a hookk, something canny and interesting to keep people interested...

Oh wait, I know....rhyme and sing time...

Lam-ent

2011-03-16T15:08:00.002+02:00

This is my lament.

I heard a new word

it was slacktivism

we all sit back

and let things happen

when we should

be more proactive

involved

dynamic

interested

But we're not.

we could give a fuck

but we don't

give a fuck

we let things happen

we let the world change

we let the world change for us

and it changes badly

like a senile old man

shuffling a walker

and falling,

breaking his hip.

So the world changes,

and we are powerless.

That is my lament

Jozi: Urban Wilderness

2010-09-07T13:31:00.003+02:00

I moved to Cape Town at the beginning of 2010. I really like the outdoors, yet I had up until this point lived in Joburg my whole life. Thats not to say that there aren't outdoorsy things to do in Jozi (we have the best climate in the world, and the game reserve is only 3 hours away), but you're not as involved with it on a day to day basis like in Cape Town. In Jozi, you live in your car, existing on a day to day basis in the unholy trinity of work, home and gym. The odd weekend you may escape to Muldersdrift but that's really to look at the veldt and some antelope. In Cape Town, you may be able to spot a whale from your window. In the Company Gardens, there is a three way death match taking place between armies of squirrels, rats and pigeons. Its a truly amazing thing to be in a wild environment like Cape Town.

On the other hand, Jozi has a different sort of wilderness going on, perhaps something more attuned to notions of the human subject as the key player of the environment. In Joburg, the environment is constructed by the people within it, not necessarily by the "AMaaaZING" (note the Camp's Bay kugel drawl) natural beauty, by which Cape Town is defined. It is a well known fact that Johannesburg is today the biggest man-made forest in the world - it is a stupendously green city. According to recent counts, there are close to 6 million trees in the city, and plans are in place to plant even more. It is interesting to note that the human beings that founded the city constructed their own environment. They literally developed their own ecosystem. Not dissimilar to building a giant film set for Avatar 2 in 4D.

According to certain conservationists, the trees play an important environmental function. "[Trees] control the greenhouse effect: when heat rises from the tar, trees act as a natural coolant. Carbon dioxide emitted from cars is taken in by trees and converted into oxygen. Trees also reduce noise levels." (Refer to http://www.joburg.org.za/content/view/355/52/)

This idea of trees reducing noise levels resonates with me. Having grown up in Jozi, one of the things i have really come to appreciate is the quiet. In Cape Town, one can hear the daily clamour from most places (especially those of us in Low cost housing) - but in a Jozi Suburb in the middle of the night - it is deadly quiet - even if you do (as i do) live within a 2km radius from the sandton CBD, which is now the most powerful business centre in Africa.

However, the gorgeousness of the urban forest is countered by the lasting image of Jozi - the mining town, the dusty golden mine dumps, the dirt roads being toyi toyi'ed on by raging strikers. The yellow, orange and brown of the city - the hues of golden desolation - are colours that we immediately associate with Jozi. A Green City? Unlikely that you have ever considered Jozi in that light. The only light that you've ever considered it in is the setting sun over the hillbrow tower, the squalor of the ponte building, the edification of Soccer City as an oasis of quality in a desert of urban despair.

Yet, I would argue that this further lends itself to the idea of Jozi as a constructed environment - the gold counterbalances the green and provides a sense of actuality to the artificiality of the manmade forest. If the city is designed to ensure separation between the poorer working class and the middle to upper suburban classes (as it famously was during apartheid - a sort of "social cordon sanitaire" or quarantine line), then it makes perfect sense that there would have been a need to construct two environments, each with a differing lifestyle, ideology and meaning. These two environments enabled the Apartheid Government to establish difference in their city. For the most part, this difference remains as strong as ever.

The Green Environment vs The Gold Environment - the Urban Wilderness of Johannesburg.

Move out the way, you motherflippin pigeons, rats and squirrels

The Best Day of My Life - Part 1

2010-08-19T01:10:00.001+02:00

I'm slowly waking up from a caiprinha induced drunk slumber on the top bunk of my bed in a dorm room in the Che Lagarto hostel on Ilha Grande, Brazil. A chipper, 30-something year old Irishman, who has probably been on this island for far too long, bursts into the room, and shouts in his irish drawl, "Wake Up! You are wasting a beautiful day!". I walk outside...it appears this permanent traveller is spot on, even though he has a case of tropical sunshine dementia.

The blue sky is clear and confident. Together with the sweltering mid-summer sun, it complements the bay that surrounds the port of Abraao. The port is filled with rustic fishing boats, the signifiers of the vibe of the island, great in name and nature. I say to myself that its time. Its time to find the famous Lopes Mendes Beach.

I gather my travelling buddies together. According to my Footprint guide to South America, there is a 2.5 hour hike to the beach. "Who is keen?" I ask. The two gingers among my travelling quintet are keen. The other two will take a boat and meet us there.

We begin the hike. It comprises 3 mountains and 3 beaches. The first mountain is the highest. From the top of the first mountain, I can see the sea sandwhiched between the lush green of the brazilian mainland and the island itself. I pause and reflect on this, sipping water as the sun bounces off my 40 spf + protected skin. We walk down and find a beach - mostly deserted, with a small pier. We continue up the next two mountains and to the next beach, finding similarly stunning experiences. We are blown away by the outstanding natural beauty of the place, the amazing energy of this tropical environment that makes us feel that we are in paradise.

However, the best is yet to come...

Top 5

2010-08-16T12:04:00.001+02:00

Given the fact that my blogs have been nothing short of frivolous fun lately, and in no way related to the essay-type introspections that I see my classmates grappling with (in spanish, no less), I thought I would continue with this spirit of pseudo-intellectual somewhat fun and list for you, my faithful readers, my top 5 environment/nature cultural things that speak personally to me as a person.

1) The Beach by Alex Garland

Alex Garland's novel is my favourite book, the centrefold in my adult magazine of life. I wrote my honours thesis on this novel, with a specific focus on the lengths that even the most 'enlightened' people would go to in order to protect paradise. I saw this novel as a precursor for the religious fundamentalism of the early 21st century. I would ignore the Dicaprio-Boyle film, if i were you. And in the words of Richard, the main protagonist, "the world is everything outside the beach". The Beach is nature, life and beauty - what would you do to protect it?

2) Into The Wild OST by Eddie Vedder

The Movie's great. I haven't read the book. But the soundtrack by Pearl Jam's Eddie Vedder is sensational. It perfectly captures the isolation, the beauty, the rebellion of Christopher McCandless. As Vedder himself states, "It was startling how easy it was for me to get into his head. I found it to be uncomfortable how easy it was, because I thought I'd grown up." This soundtrack is the perfect accompaniment to any outdoor experience, especially a road trip. If you haven't listened to it, give it a bash.

3) District 9 (Film)

Many of you are wondering what a film about aliens (wtf!) in johannesburg (boring!) has to do with environment. But as a born and bred Jozi boy with a deep affection for my hometown, I must tell you that there is something about how Blomkamp deals with setting and place in this film that just tickles the cockles of my heart. The arid gold of the mine dump wasteland, the hot sun rising over the hillbrow tower, the fokken prawns that remind me of the red parktown prawns that I would find in my swimming pool every summer - District 9 is a reflective piece on Joburg, on the city where I was born, grew up, studied and worked. This is my environment, beautifully shot and captured on film, with flaws and all. I heart Jozi.

4) Spiderman, Wolverine, Batman

Aha. Anthropomorphic Superheroes. The Spiderman - nerd with proportionate strength of a spider. The Wolverine - short squat canadian samurai dude with claws, possessing the fighting spirit of a north american ferret. The Batman - a common man with no special abilities other than intelligence and skill, who uses the bat as a symbol to frighten his foes. In these characters lies the desire of every man - to become the composites of nature; to possess the abilities and skills of the myriad creatures that inhabit our earth. These characters are meditations of man's relationship with the natural world, and they always beat the bad guy! Superheroes rule!

5) Dharma Bums by Jack Kerouac

A semi-biographical tale about a dude who sits on a mountain and then leaves, walking across america on foot, only to go sit in a forest for a few years. Kerouac was a master of spontaneous prose but more than that, he realised that nature was the only place where he could be alone with his thoughts and find inner peace. Read this or "On the Road" - it is vital for your perceptions.

Ode to Rhodes

2010-08-16T12:03:00.001+02:00

In the shadow of the mountain
did rhodes reign
dreams of power
consumed his brain.
For days on end,
he pondered means
to appease the gods,
the kings and queens
so he gathered beasts
from across the earth
displayed them, proud,
as his hearth
as the pharoahs and romans
were prone to do,
the deified humans
rhodes aspired to.

Thus, he captured
his iconic animal buddy
the lionheart, the symbol
of the illuminati.
Its flowing mane,
a crown of gold,
never was a creature
so brave and bold
that embodied power
and royal light,
the lord of beasts,
of unquestioned might.
Through this purchase
was his strength assured.
Lions are cool,
We should all buy a herd!

It begins with a mystery...

2010-08-05T23:10:00.005+02:00

(Blogger's note - I have to keep a blog for the "Film and Environment" course I am doing at varsity so I thought it might be a nice touch to publish what I write for your enjoyment. Who knows, maybe it will start off a chain reaction...)

There is a mysterious quote written on the inside cover of the copy of "Walden" that I stole from my parent's house in Jo'burg. The words are written in purple fineliner, and they are fortified by a series of colourful stickers with little butterflies on them.

It reads:

"What lies before us & what lies behind us are small matters compared to what lies within us. And when we bring what is within out into the world, miracles happen.

- H.D. Thoreau"

This mysterious quote is an interesting and unexpected start to my first foray into film study. The quote itself is poignant, and resonates with the journey of self discovery that I began when I moved to Cape Town at the beginning of the year to study my master's degree. However, the fact that I have found it in a book that i have ostensibly stolen from my own family is suspicious. Especially since I don't come from a particularly literary family.

My brain is running wild with questions. Who wrote the quote and for whom? My first instincts suggest that it was a female. The purple pen is giveaway, the butterflies...a dead one. But which girl exactly? Was it some high school teen looking to inspire her boyfriend's potential? Was it a popular girl willing a nerdy friend to greatness?

More pressing, why did she choose "Walden"? What is so special about this particular book, this prescribed text for my film course? How would they even know about Thoreau, when I, a master's student, didn't even consider his existence until this year?

Knowing me, I will continue to ask myself these questions until I find out who wrote the quote and why they chose "Walden" to inscribe it in. I could ask my family, but locking them in a dark room and holding a torch into their eyes until they answer my questions is unethical. Waterboarding is also out of the question, but I must find the truth somehow!

Perhaps reading the novel is a good place to start.

Mazzies Yo

2010-04-16T13:07:00.010+02:00

In 2005, a Reform rabbi and the newly appointed Chief Rabbi were asked to stand on a podium together to commemorate 10 year anniversary of the death of Yitzchak Rabin, the last great Israeli Statesman of the 20th Century. They didn't - the Orthodox Rabbi chose not to stand with the Reform Rabbi, thereby subtly delegitimising Reform Judaism as a credible expression of Jewish Identity in South Africa.

Since then, the South African community has polarised itself, owing to perceived injustices to free speech and dialogue on the one side, and the imagined perception from Orthodoxy that dynamic expressions of Jewish Identity are damaging to the community. As such, the Liberal left/centre has found a voice in Limmud, which offers an educational experience open to multiple understandings of Jewishness (including orthodoxy), while the Orthodox hegemony in the community has continued to develop its structures and has used its monopoly over youth engagement to grow the orthodox elements of the community, while totally shunning the left/centre in the process.

Five years later, Justice Goldstone, a South African Jew, a man highly respected by legal and judicial bodies across the globe, a community member to be proud of, has allegedly been advised to not attend his Grandson's Barmitzvah at Sandton Shul in Johannesburg by the South African Zionist Federation and the shul itself. There are whispers of a Zionist Federation 'protest'...at a barmitzvah. Goldstone's slight to the community....a report to United Nations condemning Israeli human rights violations in a deadly military conflict. Right or wrong, he demonstrated a view alien to the dominant mainstream orthodox-zionist hegemony of the South African Jewish Community, and has been threatened with exclusion from Jewish Ritual.

In the meantime, Zackie Achmat, a prominent civil activist in South Africa, who began the Treatment Action Campaign, which has radically changed HIV/AIDS treatment in South Africa is being sued by the Chief Rabbi on the basis of a blog post condemning his behaviour in this matter. Achmat calls the Chief Rabbi a "neoconservative". While name-calling is never cool, isn't there a modicum of truth in this statement? Is it not highly conservative, twisted and bizarre, yet frighteningly possible that a community organisation would consider disrupting a child's barmitzvah, and that this could be sanctioned by the orthodox establishment? Surely, the Chief Rabbi should appeal to so-called "protesters" to respect the sanctity of the Barmitzvah Ritual? As the most visible representative of the Jewish Community in South Africa, does the buck not stop with the Chief Rabbi to address this issue?

I've always understood that the role of spiritual leaders in our community was to act as our moral compasses. Arbiters of truth, justice and fairness. Symbols of the inherent decency and kindness of the Jewish People. Our representatives to God, who fight for our ultimate salvation as a people. And to be honest, I've struggled to correlate this perception with the actions of our spiritual leaders over the past five years. Why have they discouraged Orthodox Jews from attending Limmud? Why don't they make any attempt to remove the word "shoch" from the South African Jewish Vocabulary? Why won't they share podiums with Reform Jews and unite diverse factions of the community? And now, shockingly, why won't they tell people to let a grandfather attend his grandson's barmitzvah in peace?

These questions and more have led me to my opinions as to why this has happened. For too long now we have let these leaders represent us, and while they have used the platform provided to promote important religious ideals, they have never shown any interest in spreading the ideals of tolerance, unity and democracy. As a community, we have demonstrated our total sympathy and meek compliance with their views, while the leadership has let us down by allowing sickening racism and intolerance of our fellow Jews to fester in close quarters. We now have a situation where it is "acceptable" for us to heckle and protest fellow Jews at a Barmitzvah. And they do nothing! This is not Jewish! This is SINAT CHINAM! It reflects shockingly on us as a community. By my reckoning, the leadership of our community needs to start sending the right messages to our community before we do further damage to our reputation. Deals and denials are simply not enough...they need to help us to process these issues differently.

I hope I am not alone in demanding that the South African Zionist Federation and Union of Orthodox Synagogues issue a statement unequivocally supporting Justice Goldstone's right to attend the Barmitzvah of his grandson as well as offering direct assurances that protesters will not be allowed anywhere near the event. I think that they should call on community members to not protest at this Barmitzvah, and they should ask those community members who would protest to find an alternative platform to express their opinions, so that this family can enjoy their celebration undisturbed. The time has come for the Religious, Zionist and Administrative leaders of the South African Jewish Community to pro-actively encourage the principles of unity, tolerance and democracy in our community.

However, having lived through the last 5 years, I am not hopeful. For too long, we have allowed hatred and apathy to fester. We have let ourselves justify our fear of the unknown and alternative viewpoints by accepting fundamentalist interpretations of Halacha and Zionism. And our so-called "moral compasses" haven't helped one bit... Who knows, perhaps they will find some "halachic" justification for this travesty.

I wouldn't be surprised.

To Justice Goldstone and his family, Mazel Tov!

Retrogression: Phase One

2010-03-16T12:44:00.003+02:00

–noun

1. the act of retrogressing; movement backward.

2. Biology. degeneration; retrograde metamorphosis; passing from a more complex to a simpler structure.

__________________________________________________________________

At this moment, I am unshaven, wearing beige shorts and comfortable brown slip slops. I've got a black t-shirt on. My sophisticated watch (a gift) and my blackberry (self purchased) are the only indicators of my former pseudo-yuppie pseudo-respectability. I am sitting on a lounge chair, in the library, typing on my old laptop, listening to music while drinking from a bottle of mineral water that only cost me five rand, while my student card stands in the crack between my f1-12 buttons and my number keys. Most notably, I'm blogging again.

This is a good sign.

Retrogression: Phase One - Mission Accomplished.

Better than Best

2010-03-15T19:40:00.003+02:00

Is it possible to be better than best?
Better than others and better than yourself?
If so,
Can you only be the best within a microcosm
or can you give yourself macro aspirations and fulfill your ultimate destiny?

I'm less hopeful than I was 4 months ago
but i suppose thats cause i've retrogressed
back into the student life.

But i still have hope
and desire
and hunger

even without a salary.

You're a Prawn: District 9 and what it means for the douchebags among us

2009-08-31T14:55:00.006+02:00

*spoiler warning*

I was seriously amped to watch District 9. The opportunity to watch a science fiction epic set in the city of my birth and breeding stewed up so much anticipation, that I nearly, for lack of better words, J’ed in my P in excitement. So I watched it. And while I didn’t quite release my fanboy secretion right there and then, I was stunned and moved in equal measure at the satirical audacity of this movie, set in Jozi, set in my hometown.

No doubt, there were many themes to pick up as this is a movie that works as an action film/sci fi epic/ moral parable – but more and more as I thought about it, I realised that what resonated with me is what it said about my perceptions in the right there and now, in JHB, in August 2009. Now, I’m pretty honest about the challenges of being a white male south african in a post-apartheid society, and I’m acutely aware about how other people, who are far less liberal than me, percieve their conditions and the conditions of others. The so-called civilised man will always percieve those less fortunate than himself as uncivilised. It’s human nature.

Let me cut pretty much to the chase and say something pretty freakin’ controversial. I think that in South Africa we are are striving to find our identity, and we do that by identifying ourselves in opposition to the other. What does this mean? It means that we are inherently racist and there’s nothing to be done about it. I come from a community that has its own special derogatory term for black people, derived by the Hebrew word for black, which is “shoch” (an Afrikaans g sound). People use it in order to describe black people, particularly those ones who are really poor, or who drive taxis, or are manual labourers, or basically, who do anything that they, the “civilised” ones, wouldn’t do. Not everyone uses it as there are many liberals/non-racialists in my community – but far too many people are comfortable with this derogatory language, and use it with shocking nonchalance.

To me, saying “shoch” is like saying the k-word. Or in District 9 terms, its like saying “prawn”. And I think we say it too much and I hope that one day we’ll stop. However, I know that racism is a reality of life in South Africa. I also know that racial tension is completely entrenched in our psyches and we know better than anyone how deep our prejudices really lie.

So essentially, what I loved about District 9, is that as Joburger, I appreciate the irony of seeing the “racist” come to terms with the liberated society around him. Just as Wickus metamorphoses into a prawn, so too do we have to come to terms with the fact that we live in “prawn” country and it is indeed time for us to assimilate into the “Hive”. Does assimilation mean that we have to lose our identities, our otherness? Of course not.

However, it does mean that if we want to be a part of this nation, we need to begin to shift our perceptions of poor people. We must try to understand the other in our midst. We must show empathy and a commitment to liberating them from their plight, as opposed to pitying them and dismissing them as non-human.

It doesn’t mean that we have to stop being afraid. We are more than justified in our fears of crime, HIV/AIDS and land redistribution – these things are real and their scariness must not be underplayed. However, we must just show a bit of class and be clever in how we relate to others around us. If we don’t, we will become the inhuman prawn – and as district 9 reminded me, some of us already are…

El Hermo's Movie Mission

2009-07-15T11:07:00.003+02:00

I have set myself a goal between now and the end of the year. I want to watch a movies that I have never seen before...movies that form the basis of an understanding of cinema, movies that are classic, or underrated, or artistic, or just plain wierd - but most importantly, I want to watch movies that change perceptions and inspire new ideas. Not romcoms or "Angels and Demons".

So I've developed a short list of films I want to see before the end of the year. I encourage anyone who reads this to add to this list through commenting. I'm interested in most genres - except for genuinely forgettable romcoms.

Here's my list:

Dr Strangelove

Citizen Kane

The Graduate

The Shining

Metropolis

Annie Hall

Mystic river

Crumb

This is spinal tap

Casablanca

Heat

Raging Bull

Evil Dead 2

Let the right one in

In Bruges

The Thing

Goodfellas

Wonder Boys

The Great Debaters

What do you think I should be watching?

Fracture

2009-02-06T12:41:00.004+02:00

Since the onset of the Gaza crisis, I have observed with growing concern a rise in Anti-semitic behaviour the world over. Jewish communities across the world have been criticized for their devotion to the State of Israel by vast numbers of the population, and there has been a marked rise in Anti-Israel sentiment, which has manifested through an increase in Anti-Semitic attacks in countries including France, Venezuela and many other countries. From the arson and desecration of houses of worship to the victimising of Jewish children as they walk the streets of their adopted countries, it has become clear that the world’s perception of Jewish people is strongly linked to the policies and behaviour of the State of Israel, the Jewish homeland.

In many ways, this is correct. Israel is the land of Jews and its existence and security is paramount to the confidence of an entire religion. In the eyes of many Jewish people, to stand against the policies of Israel is to stand against the essence of one’s Jewish identity. Yet, there are those who disagree with this view. In the secular world, there is a tendency that it is important to look at all sides of an argument, which has led a number of people, even a number of Jews, to the belief that Israel’s attacks on UN hospitals, schools and heavily populated civilian areas were disproportionate, badly managed and ultimately, evidence of the continued “oppression” of the Palestinian people.

This article is not about the debate as to whether Israel was right or wrong. If it helps, the writer of this piece stands strongly with the State of Israel’s right to defend itself from continued attacks but has obvious and understandable reservations of the humanitarian costs of this security. What this article aims to investigate is the nature of this resistance and dischord within the South African Jewish Community, where the mainstream community is up in arms against those people who have taken the position of criticizing Israel’s actions in the Gaza Conflict and the many other military crises that have preceded it.

The “Letter of Shame” has become a major talking point in the community. A number of individuals on the liberal left of the South African community have put their names on a “not in my name” letter that clearly indicates that they do not support the Israeli action in Gaza. The mainstream community has met this letter with outrage. Labelled “Anti-Semites” and “Hamas Supporters”, the mechanisms of the community have sought to repel these views from the community consciousness with the official line of the community being a continued devotion and support for the state of Israel. The mainstream community does not ask these individuals to recant their views, but rather derides these individuals as self hating Jews who demonstrate elements of the anti-semitic behaviour that seems to be sweeping the world at the moment.

This is not the first time the Liberal left, or other denominations of South African Jewry, has been derided and dismissed by the mainstream community in South Africa. Since 2005, the South African Jewish community has been marked by consistent attacks of Jewish denominations that fall outside the mainstream of conventional South African Orthodoxy. The reform movement in South Africa has suffered from dwindling influence, in no short amount due to the continued intolerance and delegitimising of their movement by the Orthodox Rabbinate. Youth movements, who espouse either liberalism, secularism or reform Judaism, have been removed from the sight of schoolchildren, creating an insularity and anti-pluralist approach in the youth. In addition, the orthodox movement has commandeered all Zionist observance on a communal level. This has denied other denominations of Judaism the ability to support Israel in a communal setting and has alienated a fair number of secular or reform intellectuals.

Therefore, this writer finds it unsurprising that the community has become polarized into a liberal left that is critical of Israel and a religious right that is devoted to the state. In recent years, the community mechanisms of South African Jewry, especially in Johannesburg, have sought to isolate communal Zionism by keeping it contained in the narrow framework of Religious Zionism. This has led to an alienation of liberal, secular and reform Jews resulting in a situation where a number of people are unwilling to stand with the community view on the situation in the Middle East.

How can our community leaders propose to speak as one voice for the South African Jewish Community when all they have shown themselves to be are proponents of internal division and dischord? The leaders of our community need to wake up and recognise the damage that has been done to communal unity by the continued alienation of other denominations of Jewry. If our leaders expect the community to be united forIsrael and against Anti-Semitism, they need to put up a rallying banner to every denomination and bring people back into the community fold in a way which suits the individual, in a way that is not limited by narrow constructions of orthodoxy.

In conclusion, it is apparent that the Jewish community in South Africa is at a clear crossroads, especially with regards to uniting communal support for the State of Israel. Just like Israel, it is faced with a Catch 22. The community leadership can either continue to suppress and show intolerance towards the other denominations and beliefs that exist within the community, or they can rally communal support for the many important issues we face by being inclusive and tolerant of alternative approaches to Judaism, but in doing so compromise their all-encompassing control of the mainstream. This writer votes for the latter.

El Hermo's Century

2008-11-17T08:27:00.005+02:00

Well, I've done it. I've reached 100 blog posts. No small feat I might add, considering that I am not a dedicated full - time writer. This has been an achievement three years in the making.

I'll give a brief bio:

I started blogging in October 2005 - My first blog was called "El Hermo's den of despair". It was a depressing, sad blog but i loved it like a sick puppy. But, eventually, it had to be put down.

My blog was immediately resurrected in the form of "Casa Del Hermo", a much brighter more positive blog that became home to my expressions and my written voice.

In Year 1, I was writing about 7 posts monthly - inspired by my studies in English Literature and my lameness. In Years 2 and 3, the process slowed as I fell out of the Arts and into the working world.

But i've kept the posts ticking over.

So here I am - at post 100. I still love my blog.

Here are links to my El Hermo's Top 5 Blog posts (in no particular order of preference):

Rubber Bullets - My Resistance Ode. My faithful readers will know how I pride myself on dissent to the hegemon!! At least, this poem made me popular.
Extreme Smoking - This semi-biographical piece gives you insight into the insanity that is my life! Definitely one of my big favourites!
Cracked - The most serious poem i've written in three years...can't fault me for trying :)
The Cross-Blog Debate - Love this one - Mach 3 and El Hermo engage in an online debate for the ages, which ended in a crushing defeat for M3 at the hands of my poetic mastery. Read blogs in the following order: Resistance; Menshivik Rebuttal; and Bolshevik Obliteration.
A New Dawn - Substantial facebook buzz, a fiery blog war, and pro-obama. Its just got everything!

Thanks for reading, dudes!
To 100 more - but it'll probably only happen in like 10 years :P

Peace
El Hermo

A New Dawn

2008-11-05T14:45:00.001+02:00

There are certain moments that are worthy of a blog. Sometimes these moments are personal and limited in their scope to an individual, and in other times, these moments are global, of unlimited scope and broad interest. Today’s moment was a bit of both.

One such moment occurred this morning. I awoke at 5:45 with my TV remote control ready at my side with the satellite channel already set to CNN. I flicked it on, and within fifteen minutes, the world and myself, received the news that the United States of America had elected it first Black president. The myth had been shattered, and conventional expectations, once strongly resisted, crumbled before my very eyes. Its first Black President. It was a huge moment – an event for which I had been eagerly waiting since my interest was gripped by the story of this individual and this American election.

As a young liberal with a recently developed grounding in post-modernist thought, I have come to resist hegemony and monolithic thought in the way that it impacts on my life. As a young South African Jew, I have a strong held belief that many of my peers and the majority of my community have allowed themselves to be trapped by outdated and monolithic ideologies that shape their perceptions of race, religion and the world at large.

About four years ago, when I was more civically involved, I had believed that the time was nearing for us, the youth, to come to our own conclusions about issues significant to our identities. I believed that if we could make these decisions freed from the dominance of our traditional backgrounds, we could play a role in reshaping the world in a way that is inclusive of all groups, but understanding of the key differences that endemic to groups of people the world over.

Well, I’m no Obama…that’s for sure. I had a message – but couldn’t communicate it effectively, and inflicted more damage than good. But what I’ve realized today is that my message wasn’t uniquely mine. Rather, it was a vision shared by people who were tired of the blinkers that traditional ideology had espoused and who craved a new dawn to do things differently. It was a message that came from a frustration that the world did not belong to us and that it was controlled by the older generation.

Why should we let ourselves be governed by fears and insecurities that go back 60 years?
Why should we accept behaviours, ideologies and beliefs that are passed down, as opposed to accepted conscientiously?

For once, the American example is right. It applies to our situation even now, even here, wherever and whenever we are. Obama said, “This is our moment. This is our time.” I disagree with him. Our moment is not only now, but also forever. Our time is not only today, but also tomorrow, the next day and years into the future. Obama’s success has shown that we should never lose doubt in our ability to make an impact, or effect change, or change our minds, or go against the norms, or do anything.

This moment is inspiring, because change is positive and because perceptions are meant to shatter and be reconfigured with every new generation. This moment is meaningful, because the hope and tears that came with that moment was symbolic of a major paradigm shift in eyes of many. This moment was poignant for me because I have refound my belief in the masses, and their ability to make up their own minds without being shackled to ideologies that have been passed down from generation to generation. And most importantly, for once and maybe forever, people can comfortably redefine their beliefs to suit their situations and be accepted, renowned or elected for doing so.

Supersweet.

Owsome vibes

2008-08-03T23:55:00.004+02:00

I would like to say that the heavy songstress of New Orleans sang a heavy song that soared beyond the crowd, weightless.

I would like to say that the smelly cheesemaker churned some smelly cheese in his place of work that smells like cheese.

I would like to say something else as well, but that seems like something I would like to say....which means I probably shouldn't say it.

I would like to say something that someone else has already said.

Thats not too difficult, yo.
Thats the easiest way, yo.
Its also pretty Owsome.

A Tale of Harmless Mutiny

2008-06-15T15:36:00.007+02:00

I've been following with interest a story that has been bubbling under in the Community. A story of a young man, named Daniel (aka the Danimal), who so happens to be my friend and intellectual ally. Daniel has written an article for a Columbia University Journal on Jewish Life called "The beloved country: Minority Politics and South African Jewry", which can be found at the following address: http://www.columbia.edu/cu/current/articles/summer2008/greenberg.html.

Without getting into a detailed analysis of the article, suffice it to say, that the piece focuses on the current South African climate and the implications that issues like Crime, Hiv/Aids and Zimbabwe have for South African Jewry. However, it also lays some blame on the role, or lack thereof, that the Jewish Board of Deputies has played, with their major focus, as Dan argues, being on the protection and sustainability of the Jewish Community within this climate, as opposed to leading Jewry towards working to the greater good of South African Society. Daniel says that a silent acceptance of Government policy, and a general fear of what involvement means for the well being of South African Jewry, is a key factor in South Africa being a potentially inhospitable country for Jews.

What is most interesting about this article is the response that it has garnered. The article has recieved 4000 hits, and responses have been recieved from, ex and current South African, who for the most part have engaged in a civil manner with Daniel's argument. However, most compelling is the response that Daniel's article has recieved from the Board itself. The one form of response that I will mention in this article, and which rang alarm bells for me, is that at a recent lecture launching a historical picture book on South African Jewry, Daniel Greenberg's name was mentioned by a representative of the board in the context of being one of those who criticise the board. Daniel, who is a 20 year old student at Columbia University in New York, was signalled in public as an outspoken critic of the work that the board does. For those look to the leadership of the Board for direction, the member's statement immediately shapes Dan into the enemy, the outsider, for having a view that is contrary and different to the idea that the Board has done a century of sterling work in securing the community in the national context.

I will concede that the board has done well in turning Johannesburg into a thriving centre of Jewish orthodoxy, that they have done much to ensure the continued wealth and security of the community. However, I would like to share Daniel's opinion that the board has not done enough to work towards the greater benefit of South African society. The Board has not done enough to mobilise Jewry towards making a marked difference in society, and has not done enough to mobilise rich Jewish businessman to invest their money in effective service delivery to the poor as opposed to investing in religious organisations and Jewish outreach programs. True, the board has responded to short term problems such as the Boxing Day Tsunami and Xenophobic Violence, but in the lack of any other considered contribution to South Africa, how can this be seen as anything more than a large scale public relations exercise?

In fact, the Board's obession with public relations is the only thing they are really good at. They are superb at scouring newspapers, websites and e-mails for anything that dare offer an alternative view or criticism, and use underhanded, humiliating tactics to alienate their own, especially future gems like Daniel Greenberg, who is one of the 3 founding editors of "Consilience", the first ever Sustainable Development journal to ever appear in the American college circuit and has the backing of renowned economists like Jeffrey Sachs and others.

So, here I am - a 23 year old Jewish change management consultant, putting my voice and support behind a 20 year old Jewish student at Columbia University, standing in opposition to a Communal Leadership that wishes to alienate those who offer an alternative view, through tactics of gossip and public humiliation. Call me a pariah, call me a Board Basher, gossip about me, speak about me in public, do what you will - I will use my voice to declare that I want to live in a community that engages with the issues of its constituents in a mature and well thought out manner, that reflects on criticism, does what it can to address social ills, and isn't obsessed solely with Public Relations.

Why? Because Daniel rocks....and y'all should recognise.

Freestyles for the benefit of everyone but Mr. Kite

2008-05-01T01:00:00.001+02:00

The three of us are hiking in slip-slops through the forests of Port St. John in the Transkei, accompanied by a dreadlocked local, armed only with a quality walking stick, and more importantly, a pair of white takkies, probably purchased from the local Pick ‘n Save. His name is Richard, and he walks ahead, the route ahead imagined by the map of his soul.

As we walk, he talks to us about his town, the town where he and his family come from, that holds the golden key to his future. “Tourists like you”, he says as we walk, “you are coming here more and more. If I am able to share with these people my life here, then I will make money…I will make money doing what I love.”

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No hard theory. I do not wake up in the morning. I emerge from slumber through pure biology. Granted, my alarm clock helps me out slightly – but for the most part, it seems as if I am innately gifted in the art of assuming the exact amount of time that I need in order to get myself in motion. It’s a primal thing, and therefore, not the most difficult concept to grasp.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

the round webcam is staring at me
perched on top of the black screen
like a hawk

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Let us talk of happier times, when brilliant green trees lit up the streets like lanterns in the daylight, and a scissor rim orange beetle blazed on the tar road like a phoenix risen from a scrapheap.

drones in the hood

2008-03-02T23:07:00.002+02:00

drones in the hood
chopping some wood
chop chop chop
till the tree does drop

drones with no souls
carving out holes
in the chopped wood
down in the hood

boyyyyyyyyyy

Galvanise

2007-10-09T17:32:00.000+02:00

I haven't written a note or political blog for quite some time, but i have been watching with interest numerous debates around facebook whose primary focus is the WITS student protests currently taking place on main campus. I also should say now that i'm not trying to capitalise on the debates of others for personal gain - but am hopeful of bringing a different perspective to the party.

Let me just signpost my position:
1) I am not on main campus, therefore my lectures have not been disrupted.
2) I have a vague idea about what the protests are about, but i have got the general gist that they are protesting fee increases.
3) I have heard stories about Vigilantism from affected students involving mace being sprayed and classes being evacuated - but seriously, that is about all i know about the real impact on the ground. I am trapped in a bubble at the WITS Business School and am sadly, and ashamedly, out of touch.

I remember when I was in 2nd year or so, that a similar protest took place on campus. I remember the toyi toying, police standing menacingly with their riot gear, students marching through campus, class disruptions. It all happened then, and I remember it clearly. I thought it was all rather exciting. It was a real protest, a demonstration by a group of people united on the basis of a common idea. That idea had merit, even if that merit didn't apply to me and my economic situation - and I wasn't frightened by the "Riots" - rather, I was emboldened by it.

I thought to myself, these people are actually making a stand. Misguided or not, they were standing up for what they hold true, and that, in my eyes then, was a noteworthy and respectable endeavour.

However, time and experience since that point has shown me, that this notion of standing up for beliefs that key groups of people either disagree with or couldn't care less about it - is not seen to be respectable or noteworthy. For these key groups, to stand up is an insult, an attack that challenges them forthright and draws them further and deeper back into their deeply entrenched and self centred views.

It is apparent to me, at least, that young South Africans should start waking up to the positive role that peaceful, mass protest can play in society. It can enable the individual to make a difference by uniting him with people who feel similar injustice. Not to say that vandalism or disruption of lectures is fine...its not at all. But to condemn the entire protest on the basis of a few people who get swept up in the euphoria of unity, which seems to have happened, stems primarily from ignorance, and also a non-attempt to empathise with these people and their point of view.

But then again, who am I to say this? I'm not involved and off campus. I've had a full education, postgrad and all - I've never needed the support of the university to create affordable fees...I'm sorted! But, I would advise people to be more mindful of the plight of other people and their rights to vent their anger and frustration - because who knows when one day we might have to unite and protest an injustice against ourselves...

An Exercise in Futility

2007-10-03T12:01:00.001+02:00

Its overcast outside. Builder's bash at my neighbours house. I hear sledgehammers, non stop, incessant. The clanging reverberates through my house like a concrete gong.

As a result, my concentration flags. In front of me, two seven hundred page textbooks are open. Yellow and green post its poke through the pages like jagged shards of glass. As the threat of paper cut takes a new and much more disturbing meaning, I realise that I can no longer concentrate. I stand up. I look down at my books. I sit down. I look up at the portrait of Magneto on my wall.

And then, I give up.

Is the Juice worth the squeeze?

2007-09-20T23:58:00.000+02:00

As the year ends, I look back at a year of paced blogging - not nearly enough to keep Casa Del Hermo on the cutting edge.

This saddens me - I have a lot of stuff written on here.

I'm just not really feeling this whole vibe at the moment...

And so, another meaningless post to keep the posts ticking.

Squid War!

2007-08-28T10:42:00.001+02:00

Another example of me being bored at work:

The giant squid is a creature from the ocean deep - yet he battles with many individuals in the quest to gain complete control over the surface world - here are just a few of the enemies he has faced.

Billy Zane....he's a cool dude....

Prime, lord of the autobots, has finally met his match....

The Cougar - mountain carnivore - does he stand a chance against the lethal killing power of El Squidiachi - I think...not?

Bolshevik Obliteration

2007-08-14T09:17:00.000+02:00

Blogger's Note - Mach 3 and I are experimenting with a cross blog debate. So far, it is comprised of Resistance on this blog as well as The Menshivik Rebuttal on Mach 3's blog. We hope that you enjoy this debate as it is of critical global and local importance.

I stumbled upon
the net last night,
when i saw something
that spurred my delight,
Mach 3 had been
the first to engage
with my point on
his awesome, political, mantastic page.
While I said that religious dogma
pigeonholes the left
and will polarise the community
and leave it bereft
of neshama and soul
and general respect,
Mach 3 turned it around
like a discoteque,
and said, paraphrased,
"My grobotious brother,
the people that polarise you,
are, in fact, your other.
You give them power
by declaring they're strong,
they may dominate
but it is you, who are wrong,
for you fail to see
at the end of the day,
that like me and you,
they're quite okay.
They face stereotypes and hatred
more than you, all the time.
Don't hate them for ruling,
it is hardly a crime."

I pondered this point,
while i lay in my bed,
logic in rhyme form
entered my head,
and i concieved of a plan
with which to reply,
put forward my point
and beat my ally.
So here it is
I hope you enjoy
this rebuttal for you,
Mach 3, my boy.

The community, at large,
is a beautiful place,
we do what we want,
there is little disgrace.
Yet deep underlying
we all understand,
that things are just wrong
and far out of hand.
How can one group of Jews
rule over another?
How can they claim to be "father",
not "brother"?
How can they say that
how they live is right?
They may not say i'm wrong
but its not out of sight
to think that soon
they'll push us away,
and tell us we're nothing
with nothing to say.

Fanatical thought
must be averted.
The masses in SA
are becoming perverted
by people who tell them
there is only one style.
I say, hell no dude,
what a smelly pile,
my own way is fine,
my own way is smart,
Judaism is not only a religion
but its culture and art.
Its not about fasting
or being seen at Taboo,
its about understanding each other
no matter what jew are you.
If you're reform or anti-zionist,
you'll be my best mate,
if you're religous or patriotic,
china, thats great,
but its not super cool
to be a fanatic,
to be racist, prejudiced
and non diplomatic,
because you only see
your own single view,
and its not even yours.
They've told it to you!

So this is my reply
to my hombre, mach 3,
I am steadfast in my views,
as all can now see.
Yet, i respect everyone else
and am prepared to engage.
I await a reply
on Mach 3's blog page.

Resistance

2007-08-10T14:21:00.000+02:00

As the most regular readers of this blog would have probably recognised right now, I am generally despondent about the impact of Jewish Orthodox hegemony on the Jewish Community in Johannesburg. This despondency stems from the fact that these groups tend to assume that Jewish culture and religion is not something that can be challenged in the open society, but rather can only be challenged within the framework of Jewish thought set out by Orthodoxy.

So, you can imagine my relief when a group of motivated, intellectual and liberal Jews brought "Limmud" to South Africa. Limmud is a model for Jewish learning, that encourages learning on a number of interesting and controversial topics pertaining to Jewish Life.

For the first time in a long time, Jewish people in South Africa were given hope that there exists a space for subversive thinking and challenging thoughts, that one's thinking need not be limited by the sensitivities of the South African orthodox establishment that "govern" the Jewish community in South Africa. Limmud's appearance on the South African scene was a loud cry of resistance by a group of people motivated to create a community in South Africa guided by the doctrines of democracy, tolerance and diversity.

I was very pleased to have attended this momentous event. For me, it was important to stand in solidarity with "Limmud", to put my intellectual weight behind the counterculture that had begun to sprout on that day.

Obviously, the question remains. Is this enough? Will Limmud actually be able to make an impact in capturing the hearts and minds of Jews caught in between the utopia offered by Kiruv organisations or the freedom offered by the challenging thoughts of the "Limmudniks"? Is the community too far gone down a road of fundamentalism and narrow orthodoxy to care?

I think it will have a lasting impact. Those people that see the significance of "Limmud" in South Africa will continue to support it, and these people will become equipped through this learning to impact the South African Jewish Community.

Tours to Israel are not the only means of connection with one's Jewish identity. I don't need to pay R5000 and support the orthodox establishment in order to feel Jewish. "Limmud" has shown me that there are numerous options available to express your identity, and this is why the existence of this platform is important.

Good to see some resistance out there. About damn time too.

Ode to the Giant Squid II

2007-08-07T08:48:00.000+02:00

The squid came to me
in a dream last night.
Purple tentacles, one eye,
i got quite a fright.
It said to me:
"Dan, you are evil as sin
working sucks
be a student again.
the money you'll make
will steal your fun
you'll work all the time
you won't get any sun.
leave this dull place
and chill by the sea,
where the sun always shines
and the seafood is free."
It finished speaking and
its eye turned red,
like its message laser clear,
piercing my head.
It reached for my body,
with squidlike grace,
consuming me whole
in a tentacled embrace.
Suddenly, i saw jellyfish,
and a school of sharks,
sharp teeth as bright
as neon yellow sparks.
The light was shown
then I awoke,
I'm bored at work
at least i'm not broke.

Word.

Misdirection

2007-08-02T16:09:00.000+02:00

The world is rife with misconceptions. People choose to believe certain things, in order to reinforce their own belief systems. Justification through ignorance and a blind acceptance of what stakeholders with a vested interest in your belief have to tell you leads people to the adoption of beliefs that are not entirely correct.

One such belief, as implicitly suggested by Mach 3's excellent post, is that the western world has abandoned values, and demonstrates only corrupt and immoral viewpoints spurred on by a widespread adoption of secularism and liberal viewpoints. Immodesty in the portrayal of women in the media, the popular acceptance of abortion, the legalisation of prostitution, drug use, same sex marraiges - for most, these new realities point to the western acceptance of a secular worldview completely divorced from religious doctrine.

The rise of Islamic Fundamentalism has made the secularity of the western world infinitely more pronounced. The attack of September 11th in the capital of western materialism, New York, suggested an attack on the heathenistic ideology of the west by a force united on the basis of religious ideology.

It is simple to understand the world today on this basis. The religious East vs the secular West - two forces, completely polarised on the basis of religious observance. The way forward, as espoused by some, being the reinforcement of Western Culture through sound moral values, guided by the religion that had made the western world powerful in the first place.

However, this view ignores the following possibility. What if...the Western world's downfall was religion all along? What if the superiority of the west was only established through the domination of judeo-christian viewpoints the world over for over 300 years?

"Democracy", as sold to the world by the Americans, is founded on the basis of judeo-christian values. The right to bear arms, the Death Penalty, Zionism, Colonialism and their successive mutations, were all invented through engagement with religious doctrines and beliefs. The conflicts that these beliefs have led to, and the tragedies that they have caused, are apparent today in the world from the Middle East to Middle America. The treatment and abuse of Iraqi soldiers in Abu Ghraib was indicative of the longstanding superiority complex that judeo-christian doctrine has created across the world.

Secularism, on the other hand, has led to great advancements for the world as a whole. The fact that an individual has inalienable human rights in the world today, is something that has advanced from pure human evolution, independent of the conflicts created by Religion. Secularism has led to a curtailing of racial prejudice, gender discrimination and the adoption of human rights as an inalienable necessity for all manking. The legacy of the french revolution, that fought for liberty, brotherhood and equality, was never a religious invention, rather it was an anti-religious creation spurred on the fight of the individual to achieve parity in the world.

Yet, i do not disagree that the West has its dark side. The abundance of pornography and violence in the media does not set an ideal example for the new generations. Secularism has led to a compromise in strength through unity on account of the diversity it has created throughout the Western World.

However, I would argue that if one does compare the Secularism of the West to the Fundamentalism of the East, that one would find it difficult to agree that secularism is more dangerous then religious fundamentalism, or that pornography causes more strife in the world than fanatical behaviour and terrorism.

Thus, it is clear that the argument that the Western World has compromised its 'values' falls flat, when one considers how these values have been reinforced by the rise of secularism. Thus, the legacy of secularism and its impact on the world challenges the so-called primacy of religious doctrine.

Tell no-one

2007-07-17T10:24:00.000+02:00

I'm sitting here, at my desk, in the open plan office that I now call my daily abode. In this place, Blogger is more or less the only site that one can access and post one's thoughts - no facebook, no g-mail - well, i guess that you could access myspace, but myspace is hella lame and as such has no bearing on my life.

Fuck! Heres a poem:

At my desk, i sit and mope
on wikipedia I look at the pope
and his evil plans to rule the earth,
psycho pope frees me from the dearth
that comes with being a corporate whore
the computer screen is all i have, no more
chilling, fun, mindless crap
my life is closed like a tightened tap.
Not a drip, not a drop,
no police car, not a cop,
just normal piece of shit routine
slaving daily for the machine.

Where is the beach,
the calm, azure sea,
where is the space
for me to be free
not here in this place
where the sun sets on youth.
I need to get out,
I need to see truth.

Fine Print

2007-06-20T16:53:00.001+02:00

I percieve the world in a particular way.

I see spheres, among and within each other. Spheres that differ in terms of lifestyle, thought, identity, ideology. People, groups and communities, use these spheres as a means of definition. They define each other by opposing and associating with the different spheres, and, through this process, are able to define their viewpoints and ideologies in a way that enables clarity and precise definition.

In light of this clear definition, it is inherently difficult to claim that the definitions assumed by these 'spheres' are wrong. If all of these so-called spheres are defined on an oppositional and associative basis, then all these spheres have merit in that they represent an ideology that is clearly defined. This way of thought enables every communal identity to escape being fallible, and enables each and every ideology to be accepted as legitimate.

But as history has shown us, many communities constructed on an oppositional basis towards other communities, have worked to dispell, even destroy, the opposing lifestyle. In the world today, we have become increasingly aware of the threat of fundamentalist groups, across many nationalities and religions, that look to destroy, delegitimise or crush their opposition through a variety of means, sometimes violent.

This reality often leads people to ignore the influence of their own spheres when it comes to the construction of their own opinions towards other communities, whether it be in terms of religion, race or gender. If one thinks that one's own sphere can be constructed on the basis of an inherent opposition towards other groups, then it seems to me that hatred and fear play an essential role in negotiating one's identity.

This is an interesting idea. Imagine if your identity, your beliefs, your values, are constructed in terms of an underlying hatred towards another group. You claim to be accepting, understanding, openminded, but ultimately in accepting one way of thought, you present an unwitting resentment or hatred towards another.

Yet, it is apparent that a way out of this quandary exists...somewhat. If one is able to actively interrogate the intentions of one's adopted sphere, if one actively engages with the opposition, then it is possible to reduce the hatred and the fear upon which one's identity is reliant. However, I do believe that it is near impossible to completely eliminate this oppositional basis, while still maintaining loyalty to one's sphere, as that would be an obvious hypocrisy.

In my opinion, Hatred and fear, while obviously not the only factors, play an integral role in the construction of identity. One should be aware of this, specifically when it comes to identifying with certain viewpoints, and work to interrogate one's own sphere.

The Incandescent Mind is Unattainable

2007-06-08T16:11:00.001+02:00

I've haven't been able to write for a while...in part, because i have been attempting to remove a number of shackles from my written persona. One of those shackles is my tendency to be rebellious, to write impulsively about issues that I percieve to be critical in my world. A number of instances, notably the public flaying that I recieved at the hands of opponents and concerned stakeholders, alerted me to the potential reality that to write without thinking and impulsively is a bad thing that encourages personal attacks.

So, I have begun a quest to find a free space, a space where i can write about issues without coming across as a bigoted idiot that opens himself to attack on all fronts. This may be an impossible quest, and as this short post will reveal, there are numerous reasons for this.

Firstly, to attempt to free myself from the issues that bother me, would involve these so-called issues not bothering me anymore. As much as one can engage with the Other, it is also clear that such engagement may serve to prove me wrong and hence, delegitimise the radical thoughts that I feel entitled to have. If i intend to be a radical, how can i actually allow these radical thoughts to compromised?

Secondly, i find it impossible to find an incandescent space, where one's writing is not informed by ones personal baggage. If you don't have anything to write about, any lingering anger and rage, then how can one write in a way that compells other people to read one's writing. In my personal experience, I find that the more controversial one is, the more likely people are to actually care!

These are but a number of reasons that explain why I resent narrowminded South African Jews.

The truth - I am myself a narrowminded South African Jew.

Return

2007-05-19T00:10:00.000+02:00

I've come back to this blog after a bit of a facebook fiasco - my rants, my thoughts seem to have no place in a virtual community that people actually seem to be connecting to...and, as such, i have decided that i will return to my true home, Casa Del Hermo...the place where it all began.

Coming back, I must say that this blog feels safer than the social utilities that seem to be springing about all over the place. This is a place where I can write whatever I want, and, while the wider public is none the wiser, this is a place for the people who want to see my thoughts and engage with my writings.

So, I'm back...I'm home...and i feel a bit better.

And anyways, my goal in life is to win a blog award.

P.S. I'm pretty confident there are some watchdogs sniffing around. These are people who are watching my every move waiting for me to slip up so they can thrive on my downfall and possibly, get chicks as a result. If you see them, please call the coast guard and stuff.

The Melancholy that eats my head

2007-04-24T00:20:00.000+02:00

One day when i'm rich and famous, living on a yacht in the mediteranean, chilling out with a glass of the most expensive whisky ever, smoking a fantastic cigar and loving life, maybe then i will be amped for tomorrow morning...but as it stands all that awaits me is the melancholy horror of lectures, whack students and academics and all those other ridiculous varsity related things that i find boring and slightly unnerving.

5 years behind the books, at times a rollicking journey, now just feeling like a waste of my youthful vitality and like something that enjoys munching on my brain. It feels long, my skin feels stretched, my maturity unrealised to its full extent. 5 years and I still lack a real appreciation of what is responsibility, i've travelled but i'm not independent and I'm starting to feel like my past experiences, while important at the time, are slowly losing relevance to my life.

So, I'm left with a hunger for experience and a gaping hole in my stomach as i wait for the end of the year.

P.S. This was a classic El Hermo Rant

Cracked

2007-04-12T17:08:00.000+02:00

As you were,

long dark hair gliding in the breezy chill.
Your hands, warming your coat pockets.
Your arm wrapped round mine.

My bottled message
washed ashore,
You lifted off the seaweed
And saw through the muck.

What you glimpsed was well written,
proofread,
but still
you hurled it back
into choppy waters.

As I am,

still afloat
but cracked
and taking water.

I, ball

2007-04-09T23:12:00.000+02:00

WARNING - NOT FOR SENSITIVE VIEWERS

You stick your finger in your eyeball
and scream and scream and scream,
your piercing nail tearing through
like a rusted scraping dream.
Tears like ketchup pouring forth,
a sauce soaking your shirt,
the fabric, dark, is darkened more
by your pasty human squirt.

El Hermo's Movie Recommendations 4

2007-03-27T13:32:00.000+02:00

And so, I have returned to the main blog after a loss of faith in its ultimate scope. Faceblogging, while reaching more people who care, is hollow and meaningless.

Therefore, without further ado, the latest installment of El Hermo's Movie Recommendations:

I've seen some cool movies this last month:

1) Volver - Pedro Almodovar is, for those of you who don't know, the quintissential Spanish filmmaker. His latest movie, "Volver", which means coming back, is an intriguing tale about family, life and death. Penelope Cruz is awesome in this film, and there is a standout part where she lipsyncs a really moving song. I like spanish music, and hence, the lipsyncing isn't really a problem because the song really does kick ass!

2) Note on a Scandal - your classic, messed up, british chick flick with Judi Dench as a psychotic vampiric geriatric who feeds off the life forces of younger woman in order to make herself happy. Its an excellent film with brilliant performance from Dench, Cate Blanchett and Bill Nighy, who more and more is beginning to seem like a legendary actor. If you feel like a thriller/soap opera of real quality, then i highly recommend this one.

3) Marie Antoinette - I've said this to plenty people and i'll say it again...Marie Antoinette is a Tommy Hilfiger advert set in 18th century France. Aesthetically, its in a class of its own - breathtaking cinematography, awesome costumes - its an accurate depiction of the Bourbon Dynasty in all its unadulterated decadence and laziness. Falls flat substance wise, but I thought it was pretty sweet.

4) Babel - If you've seen "Amores Perros" and "21 Grams", you will know that Inarritu follows a certain formula. This is also evident in Babel, which can be understood as an application of Inarritu's formula on a global scale. Even with its typically overblown moments of despair, Babel is an intriguing film. The portion of it set in Japan is excellent, but I do feel that it tries to be too political in the other segments. All in all, excellent but formulaic.

5) Lost in Translation - Watched it for the second time this week, and feel in love with it properly. Besides for the outstanding performance, Coppola captures the essence of what it means to be alone in an alien environment, but also how unexpected relationships can be forged in these places. These relationships enable the individual to see new environments in a refreshing manner, and this is what ultimately enhances the experience of being in completely different and foreign environments. The soundtrack rocks too. Lost in Translation rules.

Monotheistic Asparagus Death

2007-03-15T23:14:00.000+02:00

A white porcelain plate, scratched with a floral border, sits idle. Asparagus that he doesn’t feel like but can’t throw away watches his every move. His mother would not be proud… she would have said, “Eat your vegetables,” and he would have eaten them, one time. He places his cutlery in a metal “X”. He’ll come back to it, signifies his knife and fork. But he won’t come back. He hates asparagus. Asparagus is death – Asparagus is a green death stick. A comic book comes to mind, he remembers the Asparagus people and how their planet was destroyed by a merciless cosmic power. The Asparagus people…the Asparaguses…the Asparagi. Does he have the power to destroy? Is he the one?

No. His hands carry the plate across the kitchen, and dump the contents in the bin under a barely rusted basin. He says aloud, “Asparaguses, your end is coming soon. But your destruction will not be reaped by my hand.” Closing the bin, he walks back to his chair. He sits, and thinks about asparagus.

Untitled

2007-03-15T00:05:00.000+02:00

A strange bloom of words
that shocks you,
like iced grass on a June morning,
sprinkler pumping through
a frozen night.

Do you skim like a kingfisher,
or a rock, soft splashes,
absorbed into a silent lake?

Eat my brain for fun

2007-03-08T23:24:00.000+02:00

I need someone to eat my brain for fun.

Please eat my brain.

It will be fun.

Dismissed

2007-02-28T23:22:00.000+02:00

There is an obvious tension between us. My left hand, swinging at my side like a stilted pendulum, brushes hers as we walk. An instant retreat follows. Typical of my general situation, my behavior is. Look. Look at me. I am like an Impala that runs away at the sight of an oncoming four by four. I want to be a brave and special antelope, staying, waiting, and showing off my distinguishing characteristics. There would be documentaries about me on Animal Planet, on Discovery, on National Geographic. I would be the most famous antelope on the planet. However, it seems as if I’m nothing but a frightened buck that runs away, waiting in a pathetic stupor for a leopard to clamp its lethal fangs around my throat.

This behavior cannot stand. I’ve had enough. I decide to force conversation.
“Do you like living in London,” I ask, the pitch of my voice fluctuating nervously, “Are you enjoying it?”

She responds, her mood dial is set on disinterested, “Yes. It is truly…nice.”
Spotting a conversational dead end, I choose to try something different.

“I dream often,” I state and she turns to look at me, “And the other night, I had a weird one. I was at work and my boss, a mild mannered guy, storms into my cubicle. He is in a rage. He screaming with pure horror and begins to ransack my desk, messing my papers and throwing my stationary all over the carpet. He lifts my stapler and hurls it with full force against the thin wall of the cubicle. The flying stapler crashes through the Formica, and all of a sudden, there’s this stapler-shaped hole in the wall.”

She stares at me, expectant.
With a piercing look deep into her sky-blue eyes, I say to her, “That’s it. That’s my dream.”
She breaks my gaze and walks away.
I stand on the grey pavement for a few moments, watching as she drifts away like a wispy cloud.

Finally, my impala instincts kick in. I turn around and walk towards the tube station, alone.

Petty Complaint

2007-02-25T01:56:00.000+02:00

On a scorcher of a summer's eve
i toss and turn in bed
mosquitoes buzz around my ear
and feed on me like bread
my blanket damp with lightest sweat
my pillow squashed and tight
the cool breeze is locked outside
on this warm, african night.

These vampire bugs keep me awake
as they fly loudly, on and on,
I make out their fangs, so long and white,
and crush them till they're gone.
They leave a small yet poignant mark,
their blood it stains my sheet,
Their demise truly amuses me,
as they are dying in the heat.

Satisfied, I close my eyes
and begin to drift away,
the shadow overwhelms me,
and I lose another day.

An as-yet untitled start

2007-02-19T00:26:00.000+02:00

Blogger's Note - This is a start of a short story. It has no name, and, at this moment, it has no point either. But hopefully, the point will be made in the very near future. Watch this space...

I see it for the first time in the national gallery in London. It’s a Monet. I remember now, I love that painting. His wispy brushstrokes give vivid life to a relaxed group of French dandies, garbed in brown and white dress suits. Their closed parasols lying purposeless on the emerald grass beside them, they sit on the banks of the Seine gazing out towards the setting sun. Young children frolic in and around the adults, their junior coat tails dangling behind them as they sprint around, laughing, loving life, immersed in the joys of a late summer afternoon.

I’m lucky enough to see this painting live, up close and personal. I sit in the most grandiose wooden bench that I have ever laid my eyes on, its purple leather seat and 18th century Austrian armrests providing more than ample comfort. In front of me, a female art warden, middle aged with graying brown hair, glides around the room in her uniform, maroon sleeveless jersey over long white shirt, sticking closely to the walls. She uses her kinetic energy to create the impenetrable force field that enables her mission: the protection of art from grubby hands, hidden vandals, Thomas Crown and whatever other threat she imagines.

Eventually, I get up from my luxurious seat and, slowly, draw myself away from the Monet. As my move towards the next room begins to pick up pace, my eyes are captured by a petite frame. Inside the frame, a face looks back to me, deformed by its post-impressionist creator. I shuffle towards it. Suddenly, a group of unruly schoolchildren stream past me likes a school of dolphins. Close together as they go through the narrow doorway, then they pass through and spread out like split atoms, covering the length and breadth of the room with bustling activity. They move in threes, rushing each to a separate painting. Look for a second and move – frames of art like frames on a film reel, yet no sound, no music or explanation.

My focus has now shifted from the painting to the frantic activity around me. The warden shuffles across the floor in a vain attempt to create order. Using her index finger as a nightstick, her attempts to discipline these children fall on apathetic ears. Her forcefield begins to dissipate as the children’s dirt-filled hands reach out to caress the oil painted canvases, and to stroke their antique European frames. Panic ensues. It has come to this: an inevitable soiling of high culture at the hands of the youth, a fast working laxative in the digestive system of society.

To be continued....

Renegades of Stock

2007-02-14T21:56:00.001+02:00

I've been in deep conversation with myself lately, especially during lectures and random presentations by the evil corporations. I've been thinking about how I distinguish myself from everyone else, about how I can prevent my absorption into corporate dronehood.

I've come to the obvious realisation by now. I've realised that I can't avoid it. It is inevitable. I will be eaten - my soul will be lifted off the teeth of the corporate monster with a razor sharp, steel toothpick, and that is simply that.

So now, the ultimate question arises. What the fuck am I meant to do? Is there absolutely no hope?

However, there may actually be a solution. I could possibly find a way to balance my inevitable corporate future, with my rampant liberalism and unfettered thinking patterns.

I could become....a renegade.

The way that I see it, if I am able to marry the inevitability of my fate with my tendency to ask the most ridiculous questions, I might be able to maintain the level of individuality that is so blatantly important to me. However, this decision could also be damaging - I would now choose to be a corporate rebel - someone who is unquestionably trapped inside the machine, yet fucks with people anyway.

This is dangerous thinking. Its dangerous for me, dangerous for my future, dangerous for everything. However, it may be the only corporate positionality that I feel truly comfortable with. It could possibly be my only hope of dealing with the difficult quandary that appears before me at this point in my life.

It seems as if I choose a life of violence.

Much better...

2007-02-08T18:04:00.000+02:00

1 Line Post

2007-02-02T17:22:00.000+02:00

I am not capable of a complex rambling right now.

Hatred of Sleeves

2007-01-29T21:56:00.000+02:00

My purple shirt has a purple sleeve.
I pull it off on friday eve,
take a candle and light it up,
a purple flaming plastic cup.
Melted sleeve, mixed round and round,
nothing, nought but just a pound
of nylon flesh, a thickly goo
that smells like violet doggy doo.
I know not why i ripped it out,
why this sleeve caused so much doubt,
why this doubt did anger sow,
why my sleeve hatred did grow.
The darkest haze before my eyes,
this vile sleeve i do despise,
the rage inside
will not subside
sleeves
evil

I used to be a socialist...

2007-01-24T08:50:00.000+02:00

With a title like this, one would suppose that I have been sucked into the corporate machine. One might assume that I have become a shiny, steel robot with glowing red eyes, whose life goal is to serve the business world, ultimately allowing me to serve myself.

But can El Hermo ever really sell out? Do I really have this so-called 'dog eat dog' mentality? Can I turn off everything else, every other instinct that tells me that I am a free spirit, and become that which is expected of me?

The truth of the matter is that I don't think I can easily shut down my inner hippie - at least, not easily, and, definitely, not now. While I am undergoing the process of getting "in-corporated" into the corporate machine at the much heralded WBS, and while I know that it is still early days, I still find myself resisting the corporate drive. It is beyond doubt that the knowledge I am learning has immense value, but I have concerns of the overall values that the unquestionably competitive and self obsessed corporate sector seem to engender.

Firstly, what is the lure of the machine, of big business? There's no real dynamism or freshness in it - the big businesses were begun years ago - but seem to grow and grow from these ancient roots. The only difference between hundred years ago and today are wierd ass management techniques that tell you that you are a "unique snowflake". Business lunches, cocktail parties, weekends away - all tricks to ensure that the employee supposes that he is happy - yet, in an environment when your rights for self determination are removed, what do the straws that they throw you actually mean? These firms are laughing at you - you, the drone that has no choice but to work. The serf, the peon - this is what you are to these people. A feudal system in contemporary times - except the lords are old professionals and their position is insurmountable.

Secondly, a position in a big company is a guarantee of a middle class lifestyle, and perhaps, this is the most attractive element. If you get a good job at a good place, you are, more or less, sorted. A shocking thought - if the totality of your material existence hinges on your capacity to make money, surely a job at a big company, which has rulers firmly established, guarantees your survival. I concede that if most people were to find their careers going nowhere at a specific firm, they are likely to push off and onwards into other spheres - yet, not everyone will become a senior partner at these big companies, which ultimately works to demonstrate the point that big business works to the benefit of few at the expense of many, many people.

So while it may be fashionable to work at firms like Investec, any big law or accounting firm, etc etc - it is ultimately a drone thing to do. What are the prospects for your future at these places? What does a position at a huge company mean for your individual ambitions and life goals? Where are you going to be ten years after you get hired, and what are you going to do when you realise that these huge firms actually don't give a shit about you? What will you do?

Well, seeing as i find myself, for some bizarre reason, walking down this road, hand in hand with my friends and contemporaries, I think that I am entitled to some jittery moments. The road ahead, while littered with free alcohol and odurves, is not nearly as clear as these companies would have you believe.

One day in the near future, the corporation will own your minds and your hands, but they will never own your right to question - and, in my opinion, it is essential that you do interrogate and think about the long term realities of the corporate malaise that engulfs our society.

Damned corporations! What have you done to me?

The Witching Hour

2007-01-22T01:28:00.000+02:00

As Bach would say, Its typical that i'm sitting in front of the computer at half past one on monday morning. I don't have any assignments due any time soon, but i have to, for the first time in a long time, be up at for an 8 o'clock lecture - so i guess its understandable that I would be struck by some form of insomniac behaviour at the most inopportune moment.

But, as i've learnt, the best time to write is the time that you least expect to be writing...so here i am tip tap typing away, hoping that this witching hour rant may result in a decent piece.

On second thought, i'm pretty tired and i've got to be up early tomorrow.

Oh well.

At least I tried.

New Year's Revolution

2007-01-07T11:13:00.000+02:00

At the beginning of 2006, I made a New Years Resolution. I had never made a proper resolution before, at least one that I would actually stick to, due to a combination of poor discipline and utter lazyness. However, last year, for the first time ever in my entire life, I made a real resolution that has changed my life for the better.

I remember where I was when I conceived of this resolution - I was in Tel Aviv, staying in Momo's Hostel, arguably the crummiest hostel in the entire world. A place where aging, thinned out freaks watched me with a mixture of suspicion and lewdness while i played pool; where constant rain affected the material stability of the room which i was chilling, resulting in the roof collapsing just to the left of my head.

This was a resolution forged in fire, a glowing red brand etching itself into my consciousness, its purpose set deep and inextricable within me.

I even wrote it down on the yellow pad sponsored by WUJS.

Rat Trip

2007-01-05T08:03:00.000+02:00

Before i was literate, clever or smart,
before i began to look at writing as art,
I used to write poems with one goal in mind,
to rhyme and rhyming was my art consigned.
I used to write gross with the greatest of ease
the green slime of thine nostril did the lit gods appease,
porno words would spew forth almost naturally
like an ecuadorian pornographer who is now free
from the prison of hell in which he was kept -
for raping chihuahuas, he paid the ultimate debt.

It used to be easier, I am now out of form.
By the way, for the last month i have been sleeping in an infested dorm
where cockroaches come at the end of the day
and turn my brain into wannabe poet souffle.
Little has been written but i have considered much,
I may be a hippy but i'm not out of touch
so don't tune me or i'll break your face.
I'm El Hermo. I'm back without a trace.
Word.

My journal is but a maulpad

2006-12-10T14:50:00.000+02:00

I know that I said i wouldn't write - but right now, i want to to write something . My journal is something else at the moment, my pens don't seem to work - so back to the safest bet, which is a post on my blog - and a quick one at that.

I'm writing this from Coffee Shack in Coffee Bay - The road trip has been a non-stop party, and i am highly surprised at my stamina in terms of partying and drinking. I never though i was capable of such insanity.

We're only a week in, so its only really the beginning. I'm loving the freedom and independence of travelling, and i'm loving the fact that i can do so in my own backyard - which is very special.

I want to make a mention of one of the places that i have visited. Weather permitting, coffee bay will improve - the vibe here is great but it has been pretty rainy for the last day or so. However, I really feel that Port St Johns is a gem in our country, a hidden one because i did not know anything about it before my visit.

Its really cool - Mountain, Sea, Forest. Mad Hikes, Cliff Diving (which i had never done before, and faced with no fear), boat cruises, potential for growth and development. I think that Port St Johns is a very special place.

Thats all i really want to say. People have begun to call me anti-social and i will not have it.

Danny
Out

Brainwaves

2006-12-01T18:28:00.000+02:00

One may assume from the fact that i haven't written on my blog in a relatively long time that i've lost interest in spouting wisdom on my blog, my virtual domain. One may also assume that i lack inspiration or that i am going through a spell of writer's block.

An announcement:

At the moment, this is the truth.

After having written non-stop for more or less a month on all sorts of different things and after coming to the realisation that the combination of writing and reading seem to form my unofficial life plan, I feel quite strongly about the importance of taking a break from writing, specifically a break from my blog.

My last few posts seem contrived to me. Writing with no plan in mind reaps little reward. You see, even this piece that you are reading now has a plan - a plan to justify my recent lack of good writing form. But as Tarzan says, form temporary, class permanant.

Hence, dear reader, I hereby declare myself on an indefinite sabbatical from Casa Del Hermo. I do this in order to alleviate pressure on myself to blog. I do this in order to make an excuse for not writing for a month while i'm on my road trip, which coincidentally leaves in 3 days time. I do this because i need to do this, and i need to do this because if i'm going to write, i need to see how long I can go without writing. Its almost like abstinence, but more acceptable.

In conclusion,

Its been a fruitful debut year for Casa Del Hermo. Thanks to everyone for reading and leaving comments. Remember to look back at the archives if you want to be nostalgic.
I hope that everyone has a wild holiday and a mad new year.

Till next we meet

El Hermo

P.S.

Look at me! I'm American and I want to crap all over you!

The Way Forward

2006-11-19T23:18:00.000+02:00

I've recently noticed an upsurge in general pessimism about South Africa.

I find that when people vent about South Africa and their prospects in the country, it comes across as an almost therapeutic release, an outburst of stress and disappointment focused on their country of residence. They are fed up with it - fed up the difficulties of engaging with cultures they do not understand (most likely for lack of trying), tired of the economic responsibilities that a developing economy burdens it upper class with, angered by the high level of crime that seems to engulf their everyday life.

Like most countries, South Africa isn't an easy place to live. Its beauty in terms of natural wonders is mostly counteracted by the suffering of the impoverished majority, the intensity of the AIDS epidemic, and an inability to control Crime. These factors contribute in severe ways to a growing pessimism.

In my opinion, this pessimism is highly dangerous as it has the potential to transform into something infinitely more menacing. I believe that there is a tendency in these pessimistic views towards racism. I've begun to notice it more and more - twelve years since Apartheid, those derogatory labels don't seem to have gone away. I've encountered too many ridiculous social darwinistic stereotypes, and ominously naive generalisations, and i'm not happy about it.

While there is justification for a pessimistic view about one's prospects in South Africa, the blaming of these problems on racial differences has no place in that discourse. Racist language, stereotypes and generalisations are ridiculous and stupid.

The destruction of narrow racist perceptions is the only way forward.

Walk

2006-11-15T18:14:00.000+02:00

I remember telling people that i used to walk from my house to Sandton City, a thirty five minute walk. They seemed to respond always with snobbish amazement.

"Why would you do walk?" was the question that most commonly came out.
Why walk? Drive. Driving is easier, they say.
If you drive, you get there in half the time.
Walking takes too long.

I feel bad not walking. I wish there were subways in jhb that took me to within two kms of university, so that i could walk the rest of the way.

I drive alot. I go to many places. In traffic, I never listen to the Radio. It is too current, too entrenched in the madness. Wheel spin, Battery water. I wanna walk to work.

Studying is for the weak

2006-11-10T13:15:00.000+02:00

Spitting from the sky,
drops darken concrete pavement.
A black rain shadow.

Clubbing Together

2006-11-06T11:04:00.000+02:00

This is a picture of young people partying at a club in Beit Jallah, a town in the West Bank.

Read the full article by clicking on this link.

The point that I'm making is this:

I understand the tensions in the middle east. I comprehend how the different ideologies clash and conflict with each other, and I know which ideology best represents my interests.

However, regardless of ideology and identity, the truth is that I am unable to distance myself from the human element of the crisis. Just as Israelis have been under attack from Palestinian Militants, so too are the residents of the west bank and gaza under constant threat from Internal militancy as well as Israeli Aggression. I can't ignore my conscience - the human cost is too high, and ultimately, destroys hope of there ever being a sustainable palestinian state. I have an unashamedly idealistic approach to the situation. As impossible as it may seem, I hope that both parties will one day find a way to compromise, and that both sets of people will be liberated from this conflict.

When i saw this picture, it was on the website of the leftish Israeli Newspaper, Ha'aretz. I found it to be quite poignant - through the suffering, the shootings, the violence, the hardship, young Palestinians resist being pigeonholed by their suffering in the only possible way...by having a good time; by dancing and drinking away their troubles. This is real partying. In South Africa, we go out to clubs to party after the stress of exams, but the truth is that we don't understand stress. The people in this picture do.

Another thing that this picture reminded me of was of the bombing that took place in that club on the Boardwalk in Tel Aviv a few years back, and it would be remiss of me to mention that event in light of this article. In that case, young Israelis were killed while partying in a club. In many ways, a club is a sacred place. Blind devotion to partying overwhelms one's problems, just as praying would do. In effect, bombing a club is like bombing a house of prayer. An attack on everything that we, as youth, stand for.

Ultimately, my point is that a club acts as a universal sanctuary. From South Africa to Tel Aviv to the West Bank, young people around the world are united in their desire to party away their troubles. This is the common ground, this is something shared, this is something universal. As young people in the world today, we need to be capable of seeing past ideological divisions and hierarchies in order to unite the world. As citizens of the world, we must have common needs, a common respect for human life, and a common desire to celebrate our lives.

Let's open a new club - We'll call it "Planet Earth".

I'm smelling that sweet Tequila right now.

The Action Channel

2006-11-04T13:42:00.000+02:00

I've been watching too much CNN lately, and am now depressed. The world is on the verge of destruction.

The American Government is "Broken".
Round 30405 of the Israel vs Palestinians vs more palestinians fight has begun.
Thousands of people are dying daily in Iraq, Darfur, Palestine and Ahfghanistan.
North Korea have a nuclear weapon, and the way things are looking Iran will have one soon too.
George Bush is ruining his country and, by extension, the world because of his insane crusade style foreign policy and non-stop emphasis of high government spending.
South Africa lost in the cricket.
Manchester United lost to Copenhagen.
A rampant bull charged a british yellow bibbed traffic officer on some highway in england.

Goddamn CNN.

Where are the snogging lesbians when you need them?

Experiments with Destruction

2006-11-01T09:33:00.000+02:00

Red paper cups filled with green acid stand on a metal fold-out table. The contents look like delicious punch but when you drink it, your tongue burns a crisp black, and falls out of your mouth - specks of grey ash on a white tiled floor.

--------------------

Sterilized metal needles lie in a tightly sealed steel jar. A man in a black sleeveless shirt, curving black lines mingling along his left arm, picks up a needle with his right hand. With precision and power, he pushes it through the bottom lobe of your ear. A scarlet spurt of blood shoots out, turning the piercer's face into a bloody rorschach.

An Unlikely Guide

2006-10-27T14:39:00.000+02:00

Blogger's Note - Dedicated to my EBHP Crew!

It’s a busy Saturday afternoon. I’m hanging back, taking a breather, while four of my colleagues are assisting the horde of customers that are standing in front of the varnished wood counter. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice a woman, wrinkled yet fit, standing at the side, just away from the intense blue screens of the till computers. Her eyes, drowned in metallic blue mascara, stare directly at me. I see her, and am instantly caught in the tractor beam of her gaze. I move towards her.

“I’m looking for a book,” She snaps in a Sandtonian drawl, “It’s called the Kosher Butcher.”
I think for an instant, and then, nod.
“Cooking with the Kosher Butcher’s Wife,” I correct her, “I know exactly where it is.”

A heartbeat passes as I map out the best possible route in my mind. The lady has started walking in the wrong direction, so I signal her by pointing my index finger straight in front of me. I glide in front of her. I am now her guide.

In motion now, I twist my body, positioning myself at an angle to slide through the narrow space that exists between the 2007 Moleskine diaries on the circular display table, and the wall display of Publisher’s Choice books on the opposite side. I notice as a five year old girl picks up a copy of Desmond Tutu’s new biography from the black cardboard display stand. Clutching the book tight against her tiny body, I watch as the energetic child bolts past me. The mother, with her tight nylon gym shirt melding seamlessly into her artificially dark skin, pays no attention to her daughter as she pages, seemingly engrossed, through the The Devil Wears Prada.

In front of me, an older man is sitting at his regular table, with his graying brown brush-over hovering over his eyes and the orange pages of the Financial Times reflecting off the visible remainder of his shiny forehead. His eyes lift up from his paper when the little girl, who has just sprinted around the whole shop, sits down next to him. She opens her book, and pretends to read, tracing along the words with her delicate pink fingers. The man looks at the precocious child, smiling inwardly as his head dips slowly back to his paper.

I arrive at the cookery section. Waiting for the woman to arrive, I get down onto my haunches, my trained eye seeking the book. I find it, place my finger at the top of the spine, and flick outwards. The book falls effortlessly into my hands. I spring back up, and hand the A4 book to her as she arrives.

She looks down, and examines the black and white cover of the book. She flips it over, and looks at the blurb at the back.
“Is it good?” she asks.
I respond honestly, “I’m sorry. I haven’t really looked at it.”
She stares at me, eyelashes suddenly upright.
“Don’t you read?” she bites, her words dripping venom.
She doesn’t anticipate that I’ve learnt how to deal with moody customers.
“It’s selling well right now,” I state with authority, “Almost every woman in Joburg is after this book.”
An awkward silence follows as she mulls over this new information.
I end it by asking her if she needs any more help. Satisfied, she shakes her head.

I turn around and take a deep breath. I see that another swell of people has massed in front of the counter with only one brave bookseller facing the coming flood.

I pick up my pace, pushing out my chest as I hurry back to the counter.

Reasonable Hallucinations

2006-10-25T14:40:00.000+02:00

Here I go again:

Over the last year, I've turned into a militant little bastard. I've used this blog in order to vent frustrations against my perception of the closemindedness, religious extremism, blinkered viewpoints of the South African Jewish Community. This anger stemmed primarily from a bad experience that i had within a community organisation - an experience that destroyed many of the neutral perceptions i had about the community. In many ways, i emerged from that with a sense of distrust towards the community. I felt betrayed by the leadership, abandoned by the masses - I felt alone within a community that i had tried so hard to support and to serve.

But after having been out of the fold for some time now, and owing to the fact that i'm feeling pretty chilled out at present and am not really concerned with the community at all, I've realised that i've got a brand new problem.

Was I hallucinating? Does my distrust of the community, of the orthodox establishment and leadership stem from nothing more than my anger towards the individuals that didn't support me and fucked me over? Or is it a real thing - is the community really as close minded as the idiots that were representing it in the time that my anger was forged?

To be honest, I'm not sure that my claims that the community is close minded, insular and elitist have any real basis anymore, at least as in the way that I percieve them. Sure, people say stupid fundamentalist things at time, and the orthodox establishment are quite forceful in encouraging their pathetic missionary agendas. But, if you'll excuse the cliche, a few bad seeds don't make the whole damn apple rotten.

On the other hand though, I think that there are some real morons out there - people with ridiculous power trips governing over communal organisations, people that are obsessed with the status and networking potential that communal leadership positions offer. These fools don't realise how badly they are selling out the community to religious organisations, groups that have plans of pushing the entire community towards strict orthodoxy. I also think there are some real geniuses involved as well - clever people in the pocket of the Religious Imperialism that has gained a stranglehold in the community. Their ultimate aim: to twist the image of the community so that it will fit into their narrow, insular, close minded frame.

But, I know that when i speak like this, I sound apocalyptic. I make it seem that the jewish community is in the grips of a race of demonic beasts from outer space. This can't be true - the evil hordes could not possibly have landed on earth to take control of the jewish community. My tiny community is an insignificant speck of dust in the eyes of these alien monsters, and is not worthy of their destructive attention.

So am i hallucinating? Is the jewish community as close minded as i make it out to be? Is there an evil alien influence taking residence in all the structures of Jewish Communal life?

I don't know.
I don't think so.
But, most importantly, I hope not.
Because that would suck.
Big balls.

El Hermo's Movie and TV Recommendations 3

2006-10-18T10:48:00.000+02:00

The third installment of my Movie, Tv & Theatre recommendations emerges from the wilderness. Prepare to be culturally emancipated!

1) Taxi Driver - Robert De Niro at his finest, in the tale of a Vietnam Vet turned Taxi Driver dealing with New York, the big apple rotten to its core, and how he, by being a hard core vigilante, liberates himself and others from the madness. This is the mad shit.

2) Grey's Anatomy - I find myself violently addicted to this TV Show. It's ridiculous at times, but the woman are belters and its damn entertaining. So, I guess what i'm saying is that if you don't respect my right to watch this show, there is nothing that you can really do because i'm badly hooked.

3) City of God - This in my opinion, the greatest movie of the last 5 years, an absolute classic. Harsh, Brutal, Fantastical but never unreal, City of God is the benchmark of third world cinema. My favorite part: Steak 'n Fries, the little kid messenger, says to Carrot: Listen man, I smoke, I snort, I've robbed, I've killed... I ain't no kid, no way. I'm a real man.

4) Napoleon Dynamite - It seems to me that people who live outside of America are torn about this movie. Some like it, Some find it boring. I understand this confusion - but I know where i stand: Napoleon Dynamite kicks ass. In the words of Rex Kwon Do - "BOW TO YOUR SENSEI!"

5) The Spiderman movies - These two movies are, in my opinion, the two best marvel comic book movies ever created. I will say this: Spiderman makes X-Men look like Daredevil. 'Nuff Said. Spider Man 3 will be insane, and all will realise the unquestioned brilliance of Sam Raimi and his Spiderman films.

I hate exams

2006-10-17T10:54:00.000+02:00

Exams suck
epic chunks
I hate them like
i hate the monks;
balding hermits
in the hills
that make me mad
for crazy pills.
Filled with rage
i take my sword,
summon my minions
and the demon horde,
march through deserts,
barren and dead,
sustained by black
and rotting bread.
Arriving at their
hidden lair,
I fill them
with the dread despair,
placing wood desks,
paper and blue pen,
in front of those
hairless monkish men,
and then they write
until their skinned heads pop.
Exams are evil,
They must stop!

Where are you?

2006-10-11T21:12:00.000+02:00

My background, the perception of who i am and where I come from, stems in large parts from the geographical space that i inhabit. As such, the city i have grown up in and lived my whole life, Johannesburg, is indelibly connected to my sense of identity. The structural, economic and cultural elements of Joburg have acted to form me in distinct and multiple ways.

Most people tend to consider their relationships with the city strained on account of the various negatives that come with living in Joburg. The issues of crime, unemployment, to name very few, has allowed inhabitants of the city to view it with a sense of contempt and frustration. We all complain about our high walls, about the need to have security guards and boomed off areas, the fact that we have to roll up our windows sometimes when we reach dodgy intersections, because we are all aware of the consequences to our lives without these security measures.

These fears, while legitimate, and the measures that we take, while practical and worthwhile, have undoubtedly played a role in the moulding of our characters as inhabitants of the city. We are edgy, cautious, generally shy towards strangers, insular and arguably, closed off. But on the other hand, as Joburgers, we are also realists - we understand the threat to our safety, and as such, have security in our perceptiveness of the "Joburg Reality" - the inherent toughness that exists within every joburger. This suggestion, although not serving in any way to justify the horrific levels of violent crime in JHB, implies that the city imparts upon on us, its inhabitants, a certain character that enables us to deal with the harshness of our situation.

You can also look at this in terms of class and religious differences: How does the area in which you live inform your character, your belief system, the way you live your life? Every city has different neighbourhoods, and within these places, exist identities and ideologies that are different from others. An obvious example is the difference between Sandhurst and Hillbrow - by their mention, evoking a sense of a definite and wide economic divide. The question i ask is this: Does living in Sandhurst, a wealthy area littered with mansions and luxury townhouses, affect the way in which the residents see themselves? Of course it does. The area in which one lives is critical in the individuals derivation of his sense of self as well as his economic and social status.

I am making this point: I do not agree that people should love their city unconditionally. The relationship between a person, and the space that he occupies, is always complex, always contentious, and always confusing. But I also do not agree with people that hate JHB, people that strive in their lives to get out of town, move on to bigger and greater things around the world, and then try to forcibly sever their connection to the city in which they lived. Because ultimately, you have to consider the reality that your city has made you. It, with all its issues, has forged elements of your character that will define you wherever you go in life.

Joburg can be cool. I think.

Crunch Time

2006-10-07T10:51:00.000+02:00

I've tried to start writing a post lately - and i've been finding it extremely difficult. I've got so many other things to do right now - mammoth essays to write, exams to study for, short stories to conjure, books to sell - that i couldn't seriously waste my time thinking about something to write that i can post on this lovely little blog of mine. For all the enthusiasm that i riled up following the "so called" 50th post, I have found it pathetically difficult to use that enthusiasm as a propelling force for my own writing.

So I've learned that when that happens, its always good to write a rant about it. If you write about writer's block, then you are dealing with it in a way that forces you to overcome it. So while this post may have absolutely no relevance to you in itself, it is of crucial importance in leading me, as the writer, on the path toward productiveness and creativity.

Deal with it.

Deadly Genesis

2006-09-27T10:31:00.000+02:00

This is an emotional post for me. This is the fiftieth post on Casa Del Hermo. Fifty times in the last six months, i have pressed the orange "publish post" button, and released my creative spawn into the blogsphere. At least, twenty five of those times i have regretted it afterwards.

Like everything else in this world, there is a story behind this blog. I began blogging in October last year. I opened a blog called "El Hermo's Den of Despair". It was dark and macabre, but soon evolved into something infinitely more menacing. Following a traumatic experience in Israel in December 2005, in which i manifested extreme left wing fundamentalist tendencies, which ultimately resulted in my resignation from the student organisation in which i was at the time involved, I used the 'Den of Despair' to channel the rage and frustration I was feeling at the time. I posted angry rantings, extremely inflammatory poetry bordering on anti-semitism, everything that was on my mind, every bad, disjointed crazy thought.

As you can expect, some people got upset, and a number of people intervened. They warned me that the blog was unhealthy, dangerous and sending out the wrong perception of me to the masses. A blog is something that is open to anyone and anytime over the internet, they said - they warned me to be sensitive to the way that i was portraying myself on the net.

I took their advice, and completely scrapped the 'Den of Despair'. I decided that i would create a new blog - with lighter colours, and a different tone. A tone that would demonstrate the real 'me', a emotionally and ideologically balanced blog.

50 posts later, I feel a lot better. The blog has proved to be a form of therapy, allowing me to recuperate from what was one of the more traumatic experiences of my life. Its allowed me to show people my writing, my thoughts and my identity in a way that doesn't necessarily infringe on other people's human rights, even though it would be preferable if it did.

Thanks to all my friends, all the people who have supported me, DJ Rifkind and Ohr Somayach.

I hope that you've all enjoyed the blog, and will continue to enjoy it for a bit longer...

Out

2006-09-25T11:45:00.000+02:00

Blogger's Note - My Completed Short Story (Subject to minor changes)

Adam is alone, kneeling on the smooth chessboard floor, with the door locked behind him. Yellow and green chunky vomit drains upwards from his stomach, submerging itself in the light blue toilet water. Brown strands of saliva clinging desperately to his lips, he shoves himself against the shiny fibreglass wall that seperates each toilet cubicle. He finds a bottle of still mineral water next to him. He picks it up from the floor, stares at the liquid inside, swirls it around the bottle as someone who has watched a wine tasting would, and then, takes an epic swig.

Bianca stands in the the queue outside the entrance of the club. Opportunists wearing mullets and musky aftershave squeeze into the line from all directions, and she becomes a pinball, hurtling back and forth in the small space that she occupies. Slightly bruised, she arrives at the front, greeted by a bouncer; stocky and squat in a black jacket, red vest and black pants. His eyes, too close together on his face, examine her from their strategically different angles, and without asking for identification, he nods, lifts the velvet rope, and ushers her inside.

The water gurgles in his belly. His stomach acid is not ready for a new visitor, and resists forcibly. He feels like a human geyser, a living, breathing crater with a hole in the middle that spurts liquid out after regular intervals. He leans over the toilet bowl, except this time what escapes him is not the same colorful, cohesive vomit. It seems to be the water – the transparent liquid sprinkled with the crumbs of what appears to have been a carrot.

She takes in her surroundings. The lobby is like an Amazonian boudoir - lush green plants in the shadow of purple silk curtains, waterfalls trickling from fissures of artificial light. Bianca walks to the ticket counter and pays the sixty rand entrance fee. She holds out her left wrist for the ritual stamping. Red painted nails dig softly into her skin, as another hand pushes the stamp into her forearm, marking her with a black, smudged smiley face.

He stands, steadies himself, opens the toilet door, and steps out of the cubicle. To his right, a group of six young men in collared shirts and leather shoes, huddled close together in front of the white marble urinals, shouting loudly to each other. In front of him, the washing area, neon lights above a rippling mirror, ornamented with bars of designer soap and small tubs of hair gel. Adam washes his hands in the sink, and is handed a paper towel by the smiling bathroom maitre’d – a man, in a black shirt and a red tie, seated in a stool under a chrome towel dispenser.

Bianca emerges in front of the main bar, a large marble ring on a wooden platform. Loose hanging hands brush her backside as she forces her way through the crowd to the bar counter. One anonymous hand gropes her with vigour. She turns arounds instinctively. The culprit is nowhere to be found. She turns back to the bar, and uses her elbow as a windscreen wiper to clear a space at the counter for her to order a drink.

Adam leaves the bathroom. He navigates swiftly, untouched, through the mass, and arrives at the side of the bar where his three friends are seated. They see him, acknowledge his return by the ceremonial raising of the icy whisky in their hands, and bring him in for a closer look. Four shot glasses filled with golden Tequila stand before him. Adam does not hesitate. He takes one and, with it, lightly taps the other shot glasses. He lifts it to his mouth, emptying it quickly down his throat. Instantly Something sprints up his aesophagus. His cheeks bulge. He makes a split second decision. The bathroom is too far. He swings his body to his right, and lets it out.

Bianca’s hair is now wet, her face and clothes sequined with the debris of his regurgitation. Frozen, she is unable to remove the thing that feels like a piece of half chewed chicken breast resting itself between her left eyeball and the bridge of her nose. She cannot feel anything, not even a slight nudge, as he pushes his way past her, rushing to the bathroom. As the eyes of the crowd begin to wander around, she turns around quickly and makes for the exit. She walks out through the marble arched doorway and sees the queue, weaving itself around an empty parking lot.

Happy Time

2006-09-18T13:31:00.000+02:00

I tell a joke at friday night supper.
"Whats the difference between a baby and a sandwich?"
I say it out loud in front of about ten to fifteen people.
Some find it humorous, and laugh.
Others just ignore me, but I know what they're thinking.
"He has no tact."
"That joke is completely inappropriate."
"He's obviously not studying law."

I think about this only after i say the joke.
I feel something that surprises me.
Not regret, not embarassment,
but something else.
A kind of frustration,
anger, rage.
I have demands:
Everyone must laugh,
or everyone must grimace,
and then, smile.

Yet, I learn from my own punchline:
You don't fuck the sandwich before you eat it.

My December

2006-09-14T10:12:00.000+02:00

(with thanks to Wikipedia)

A road trip is a journey intended to be enjoyable and filled with events and tourist stops as opposed to just a means to "getting there". Alternately it is a story of such an event where the journey is of comparable or of more importance to the destination. Often the trip is metaphorical or symbolic in nature and represents a change in a person's life. Other times it is just a literary vehicle or a framework for action and adventure. Road trips were invented in the early 1950's.

Blogger's Note - I'm hitting a Road Trip this December. The above picture is Coffee Bay. I will visit and chill in all places. It will rock.

Gremlins On the Wing

2006-09-09T11:18:00.000+02:00

As you can see, my blog is littered with statements and posts that resist the understandings and practices inherent in Jewish Life in South Africa. Not surprisingly, I'm often asked by people to motivate my opinions and thoughts with regards to the way that i relate to the community.

What does the antagonistic nature of my blog say about my personal viewpoint, and how does that personal viewpoint affect my relationship to the community that i 'belong' to?

I often find it very difficult to express how i feel about growing up and living in the South African Jewish Community. Having gone to King David from Grade 1 to Matric, the jewish community is really all i know - most of my friends, as well as the social circles in which i generally gravitate, are jewish - and i love spending time with my friends, even while the social scene can sometimes irritate me. I have been a member of a prominent johannesburg shul for most of my life, and i appreciate the value of that shul in re-affirming the stake that i have in my community, and also appreciate the work that my community does for the wider community.

On the other hand, there are elements about my upbringing in the community that irk me. I'll never truly get over those ridiculous shabbatonim and encounters, where DIJE people would sit on stage and perform skits such as "THE LAST JEW IN THE UNIVERSE" - trying to convince us that if we assimilated and didn't maintain our religious identities, all jews would stop to exist. Another example, forcefeeding me bar-ones to learn about the importance of self-control (i love bar-ones). I struggle to get over the std 2 teacher that told me if i didn't say a blessing before eating, that i was nothing more than a thief. But most of all, what bothers me about the community i grew up in, is that in a lot of ways, i couldn't really question it - when i was younger, i didn't have the cognitive faculties to think about the issues about being jewish, living in south africa and the middle east crisis.

Today, this is what bothers me still. Today, i feel equipped to question everything - i want to learn more about myself, my community, south africa, israel etc by engaging with it on all sorts of discursive levels. But i often feel that in the South African Jewish Community, the mainstream are more concerned with their own financial, social and spiritual enrichment, than to actively engage with issues that affect a wider group than just themselves.

Then again, I don't even think that they should engage with those sort of issues. Clearly, issues in the community don't interest the mainstream like they interest me - and i have no expectations of them to do so. However, Here's a warning for the mainstream - if you don't want to think about things, other people are happy to think about them for you. And i can assure you that the people who are thinking at the moment are people who represent an extremist, elitist sense of your jewish identity.

Essentially, I believe that in order to question something, one needs to be exposed to it first. My intention with certain articles on my blog is to stimulate thought with regards to community issues. While my views can seem overly antagonistic at times, i believe that this can work to jolt people towards debate and discourse, which will ultimately lead to a community that actually cares enough about itself to be open and intellectual, instead of insular and naive.

But, that leads me to the second question: What is the cost of this desire to jolt people? How does antagonising affect my personal status in and around the community?

I often find that publicly endeavouring to mess with people's life conceptions has resulted in certain people alienating themselves from me. This is understandable on certain levels - but on others, its really not. Social Chastisement doesn't scare me like it scares most other people in the SA Jewish community, but i won't deny that being an outcast is a real fear for people that speak out - and i believe that this fear of social rejection discourages people from being more outspoken.

This is a problem - young people who want to speak out should not be discouraged by social alienation, rather they should be commended by the community and their peers. There needs to a real change in the value system of the community, where people with a different opinion garner more respect than people with straightened hair and waxed chests.

Because i will never wax my chest.

Extreme Smoking

2006-09-06T15:15:00.000+02:00

(Blogger's Note - This is my Biographical fragment. I hope you enjoy it.)
I’m sitting on a wooden bench, outside the law building. It’s the break between the double lecture on a Wednesday afternoon. I’m having a smoke.

“When is a cigarette enjoyable?” asks Joe, the purity of his curiosity matched only by the cleanliness of his lungs. “When can you possibly enjoy smoking?”

With my yellow-stained fingertips moving the cigarette, piston-like, to and from my lips, lining the back of my teeth with the Marlboro Man’s brown mark, I contemplate a possible answer. An enjoyable cigarette – I’m not sure that it has ever happened. The wafting guilt of my habit has deprived my smokes of their pleasure.

Then, a memory:
A tow truck driver offering me a smoke from his box of Chesterfield Lights. I’m inhaling the shame of my poor driving, I’m exhaling instant absolution.

I answer, “A cigarette is enjoyable after a rush of adrenalin, or a panic situation. The last time I really enjoyed a cigarette was after I had my first car accident.”

Students start to move slowly back into the lecture hall. We follow them, taking our seats two rows from the front.

As the lecture begins, I drift back in time:
A windsurfer backflips on the legendary Hawaiian surf, cheered on by a gathering of dancing hula girls. A snowboarder jumps from a plane onto a snow-capped mountain top. Roulette tables. Shark cages. A flashback to the Peter Stuyvesant adverts that used to show at the cinema, when smoking was cool.

Determined not to linger in mere wisps, I will revisit the legacy of these daredevils that defined my initial, joyful perceptions of tar and nicotine. I will take on a new mission: I will become an extreme smoker.

The lecture finishes earlier than expected. I arrive home, my recently emptied box of cigarettes leaving me in a state of manic craving. But I can’t buy a new box because Joe is meeting me at my house. We have business to attend to.

I climb into his dark green Ford Focus. We drive to the stop street and then turn left. I see the trees of my neighbourhood, glistening with the bright green miniature leaves of late September. Newly green grass, freshly mowed, emits a vivid odour that oddly gets the attention of my tobacco-baked nasal passage. Another left and we arrive at our destination.

Our car, pulled over on the side of road, orange hazard lights blinking, awaits the arrival of our contact. Marvin appears, garbed in an unassumingly wretched grey workshirt and brown trousers. Walking briskly but coolly, he crosses the crowded intersection and approaches the vehicle.

Marvin comes up to the window, and, silently, secretly, the exchange is made. He walks away with his money, while Joe slips the stash into the side compartment by the driver’s seat.
Business done, we pull off, turning down the main road. Then, left into the Engen Garage.
A sky-blue Golf rushes in front of us. Angered by this sudden affront, Joe shouts out, but stops quickly. Blue flashing trouble swivels on the bonnet of the offending vehicle. A siren.

Two men in plain clothes step out of the nightmare-mobile and order us out of the car. We exit gingerly as they pounce. They find the weed. We’re in real trouble now – and we know it.
We leave the petrol station and they take us to an adjoining road.
“How about we let these okes go?” Says Officer Ratkin.
“Maybe we should…” replies Officer Onselink, “if they tell us what we want.”
“Who sold you the dagga?”
“Marvin.”
“That isn’t enough, my boys. We’ll chat more at the station.”
I will always resent those policeman for toying with us. For destroying the myth that we could be like all our other friends who had had run-ins with the law, and who had smooth-talked their way out of trouble. For delaying our ultimate demise. Bastards.

Joe and I are jostled into separate vehicles. I’m with Ratkin in Joe’s Car, while Joe is with Onselink in the police car. Ratkin passes me his black felt notebook, and tells me to write down everything – the story of our purchase, the phone numbers, my address, my parent’s names. I feel like this request is one of two things: an attempt to freak me out, or the most sadistic creative writing exercise ever.

After having scribbled pointlessly for about two minutes, we arrive at the station. Joe and I look at each other apologetically, acknowledging our shared culpability in this debacle. The smell of stale urine envelopes us as we are led through the concrete holding area of the police station into the interrogation room. Eventually, we are seated at a desk facing our two oppressors.

But then, something happens. Something amazing. Something magical. Extracting a box of Chesterfield filters from his shirt pocket, Ratkin points heaven in my direction.
“Do you smoke?”

There’s something extreme about the way that the front of the cigarette glows as I inhale. The burning cigarette is fast, red and destructive, as fiery strands shrink the tobacco rod between my fingers.

But it’s when I exhale that I truly appreciate it. The delapidated interrogation room; the wooden desk sheeted in arrest warrants and loose-lying weapons, obscured by the haze of grey mist creeping from my lungs. Cigarette smoke clouding everything, but the moment’s ultimate truth:

I’m having a smoke, and I’m loving every damn second.

El Hermo's Book Recommendations

2006-08-31T10:57:00.000+02:00

Seeing as i work in a bookstore and study english , ergo i should be able to recomend well good books. Sorry for stealing your idea, Panda.

Here are some of my favorite Books (in no particular order of preference):

The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde - A depiction of the pitfalls and pleasures of a decadent lifestyle that manifests vividly in the pure brilliance of Wilde's writing. In short, Gothic Horror meets Queer eye for the Straight Guy, but awesome.
Watchmen by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons - Voted in the top 100 of Time Magazine's best books ever - This is a graphic novel, yet don't assume that it is childish. It is a post modern depiction of the superhero, dealing with the struggles of a group of retired superheroes in a world that has all but rejected them. It rocks, in my opinion.
Midnight's Children by Salman Rushdie - A Contemporary Classic. Winner of the Booker of Bookers. This book, set in India, is like the country itself - a multitude of things, stories and histories - yet, Rushdie weaves these multiple narratives seamlessly into the quintissential post-modern/post-colonial saga. Its heavy, but a must read for every human being that can actually read it.
On The Road by Jack Kerouac - If you have listened to Our Lady Peace, particularly the song "All for you", you may have some idea as to who is Jack Kerouac. If not, then i will say that Kerouac is one of the great 20th century poet/writers (and not the other way around). His book, "On the Road" is the quintessential road trip story, a must for everyone who believes in the life changing potential of travel. Kerouac kicks ass.

Thats all for now. Reading rules.

Autobiographical Fragments

2006-08-25T16:51:00.000+02:00

Temples to the controlled development of impressionable minds, the school hall's brown- brick walls are lined with wooden boards with gold-painted frames etched with the academic and physical 'achievements' of conforming, malleable adolescents.

I knew it was a bad idea when he sat in the front row, aisle seat, before the performance of "Corne and Twakkie". With his immensely swollen belly barely contained by the jersey his mother had knitted for him, doubly accentuated by his cheap, velcro strapped moon bag, Koosie had assumed the role of the obvious punchline.

The wine glass on fire in front of me, I was mentally prepared to annihilate the flaming lamborghini. Straw to lips - a violent inhalation. The drink consumed, I flung my straw down in front of me and stared down my competitor, with the relieving rage of my victory.

I am Patrick Fugit

2006-08-23T00:11:00.000+02:00

(With Thanks to Mach 3)

Here are the things i have in common with the dude from Almost Famous:

1) I like to write.

2) I like rock music.

3) My mother is an academic

4) I was deflowered by Anna Paquin, Faruiza Balk and one other chick back in '73

Rubber Bullets

2006-08-22T18:00:00.000+02:00

Hidden in the mist
of the internet fog,
there is a man
who looks at my blog,
completely opposed
to all that i say
not in his words
but his life and his way .

For me, to be secular
is the best way to go,
religion is finished -
its dated and slow.
Israel can sometimes
be in the wrong,
to follow them blindly
is like singing a song
that has no rhythm or tune,
it just sounds like a trap
one sided, close minded
fundamentalist crap.

So for those roving eyes
that see what i say,
and oppose it steadfastly
in their lives every day,
i warn to not worry:
there aren't many like me.
Most don't want to know,
most don't want to see
that global atrocities,
suffering and death
are caused when you whisper
under your breath
that its okay to be stupid,
closed off and dumb -
thats right, little piggy -
just suck on your thumb,

Cause deep down i know
that its not how you feel:
palestinians are people,
reform judaism is real;
these things won't change
they won't go away,
believing that they're wrong
is not going to pay
Accept the reality
and move on with your life,
know that with religious dogma
comes fundamentalist strife.

I know that you're reading
every word that i write,
and I know that your thinking
that i'm wrong and you're right,
and I know that you think that
you are living a good way
and you are - with value
and honour, i say.
But think about what it means
to have us all think alike
and then,
when the world is destroyed
you can think
what you like.

My latest poem

2006-08-17T10:12:00.000+02:00

Sup fools,

I've decided to submit "roadkill" for my course, so here is the other poem that i wrote. Please note that these are merely drafts - the final versions of both poems will be way tighter.

Reconstructions

Perhaps, the metallic chime of "you are my sunshine"
echoed through the packed compartment. Maybe,
uplifting the spirits of the refugees,
who lay on blankets
on the airplane's cold steel hull.

My grandfather's harmonica is encased by a dusty cardboard box,
surrounded by many hairbrushes,
in the drawer of my mothers dresser.
I asked her to bring it back from the old flat, so that I could
play.

In the guest bedroom, a sepia photograph shows my grandfather,
as a young pilot, comforting a Yemenite woman,
on a cargo plane during "Operation Magic Carpet". She sobs
inconsolably, while he
gazes into her frightened eyes

with near-heroic compassion:
I'll never know how much they loved you.

Roadkill

2006-08-13T00:30:00.000+02:00

I stare out
the car window:
black crows with red eyes
grazing on a tyre-treaded goat carcass,
serrated beaks tearing
unravelling
intestines.

Focused forwards, the driver
cannot see
my sideshow of roadside death

until:
the suicidal stroll
of a frail, pink lamb
swerves
his scavenged conscience.

You're a Towel!

2006-08-10T12:47:00.000+02:00

Prior to this post, I was on a break from my blog. Creativity has been at an all time low; Inspiration has been virtually non-existent. I've been writing neo-left, yet slightly fundamentalist political analysis, and i recently published someone elses poem on this blog, and it left me feeling numb and meaningless. I feel like i haven't really been contributing anything of real value, like i've sacrificed creativity in order to manifest some skills at social commentary.

To be honest, i don't like it.

Allow me to illuminate you with a thought: Writing is an amazing thing. I find that when i write, it is as if the written word creates another voice for me - completely seperate and distinct from my 'real' voice, my physical voice. Writing captures certain nuanced understandings, double meanings, images in ways that speaking cannot. Writing is so much more deeper, completely undermining the surface nature of the spoken word. If you think about it, the voice of the writer can at times escape all sorts of cultural and social stereotypes, while speaking, with all its accents and inflections, merely works to reinforce those stereotypes.

In south Africa, there are many different accents, different physical voices - obviously, these voices have been captured in writing - but once captured in writing, they remain above the immediate pigeonholing that one inflicts on spoken voices. This is because that instead of the superficiality of spoken words which enables one to relate to a surface stereotype, writing allows for nuances, contradictions and complexities in ways that the spoken word simply cannot compete with, and as such, is essential in creating a realistic and complex understanding of identity.

That is the inherent power of writing - the fact that it reveals identity, but disguises intergral facets of that same identity. Thats why political analysis doesn't suit me - because, in my opinion, its not what writing is about. Political commentary situates the writer in a definite position, when the writer should actually be a trickster figure who evades being defined and situated through showing a nuanced and complex perspective of his world. The writer is he who defines himself by being undefinable - a writer's contribution is always layered with multiple meanings and needs to be looked at in conjunction with a number of different factors. For me, writing is a process of evasive reflection and thats why i don't feel like writing politically anymore.

Peace out,

E. H.

The Kraken

2006-08-03T10:03:00.000+02:00

(Bloggers Note - I'm studying poetry. The new Pirates of the Carribean kicks serious ass. Therefore, a fitting poem)

The Kraken

Below the thunders of the upper deep,
Far, far beneath in the abysmal sea,
His ancient, dreamless, uninvaded sleep
The Kraken sleepeth: faintest sunlights flee
About his shadowy sides; above him swell
Huge sponges of millennial growth and height;
And far away into the sickly light,
From many a wondrous and secret cell
Unnumber'd and enormous polypi
Winnow with giant arms the lumbering green.
There hath he lain for ages, and will lie
Battening upon huge sea-worms in his sleep,
Until the latter fire shall heat the deep;
Then once by man and angels to be seen,
In roaring he shall rise and on the surface die.

Alfred, Lord Tennyson

Here they dig into the sky

2006-07-31T09:10:00.000+02:00

After Recent Events, I need to seriously think about a comment i made on an earlier post. I made a comment that I am Pro-Israel, and while to renege on and deny my initial statement, would be unquestionable and unjustifiable hypocrisy, i also feel that to not elaborate on current thoughts would enable that earlier post to be a suitable representation for my loyalties in the current middle-east conflict.

This is not entirely the case. After having watched the massacre at Qana on the news, after having seen the radical shift in Global opinion towards Israel, after having heard Lebanese PM describe "the bloody sword of the Israeli war machine", after witnessing the angry and impassioned protests in lebanon and around the world, I feel that i cannot pledge my support to any state or organisation that will attempt to justify this war. I fear that the words "sustainable peace" invoke in me a sense of rage towards the International Community who have allowed the horror of this conflict to spiral out of control. I feel that the blood of the lebanese civilians is on everyone's hand, including people like me, who have ignored the human cost of the conflict in favour of the strategic goals of the conflict.

Someone i love told me that Israel were "set up". That they planted those people there to raise the ire of global opinion, and while this may be true, there can be no doubt that the Qana slaughter is to this conflict what the "Muy Lai" Massacre was to vietnam.

Essentially, I am making the following statement:

STOP THE WAR.

El Hermo believes in Accountability

2006-07-26T10:47:00.000+02:00

I used to be an England Fan. I believed whole heartedly that they would win the 2006 world cup. In fact, most of you will know that i was more sure of this fact then i was of my own name.

In all honesty, it should have happened. The England Team was sick - filled with superstars like Rooney, Gerrard, Lampard, Terry etc. They had been doing well prior to the tournament - a last minute win over Argentina, successive victories in pre - tournament friendlies. Mostly everything pointed to a successful World Cup for the England National Team.

But i forgot about one thing - Sven Goran Erikkson, their tactically naive, sexually promiscuous mercenary manager, had failed to mould this particularly promising generation of English Footballers into a cohesive team. I thought that after six years in charge he would at least have moulded them into something resembling a decent side.

Come the world cup, and England sucked the big one. Playing the crappest football i've ever seen - barely scraping into the quarters with perhaps the easiest draw out of all the quarterfinalists - they sucked epic chunks.

I was pretty drunk when they got knocked out in the quarters, and to be honest, i was dissapointed but i wasn't surprised. They didn't deserve to go any further and because I believed in them, i deserved to look like a fool. People laughed at my "prediction" at the beginning, and they laughed even harder at the demise of the England Team.

Perhaps I should have seen it coming. But Sven should have done a way better job.

Sven Goran Erikkson is an idiot.

Join the Army, See the world, Meet new people and Kill them!

2006-07-22T11:03:00.000+02:00

As the Crisis/War in the middle east is about to enter its third week, I feel as if it is my duty to publish my thoughts on the issue.

I have a number of concerns about the crisis:

1) The international community is absent from the crisis. Noone is attempting to broker some kind of lasting peace. No one is getting involved in Gaza or Southern Lebanon. It seems as if Israel is being given a free rein to do whatever they want. I don't necessarily disagree with this, but its almost as if the world powers do not have an interest in stabilising the middle east, and would rather allow Israel to do so on its own terms, which on some level delegitimises the Palestinian and Lebanese capability for autonomy. I do not believe that a lasting peace can be unilateral, as this removes the notion of "self" from the concept of self-determination. Think the effect of the Treaty of Versailles on the German people - see how the humiliation of having their soveriegnty removed affected their national consciousness.

2) People like to tell me that I am an idealist. But I firmly believe that there will never be peace in the middle east unless the world can find a solution to the Palestinian Problem. Israel will always be under attack so long as the Palestinians do not have their own functioning country. The International Community should take strong measures in ensuring that a lasting solution is made. Perhaps even a Global force taking control of Gaza and the occupied territories, in the hope of building an efficient infrastructure and functioning country.

However, I agree with Israel's attempts to root out terror in South Lebanon. The danger is that Hizbullah act as a proxy for Iran, which demonstrates a larger Arab attempt to attack and endanger the people of the State of Israel, a goal that they will attempt to achieve regardless on the human cost on the Lebanese People.

2 Israeli Soldiers kidnapped = 300 Lebanese casualties. No one can question Israeli superiority in this conflict. This war isn't a good thing for Lebanon but in the eyes of Hizbollah should be continued. Because they started the war, Hizbollah should bear responsibility for the lebanese casualties. For continuing to blast Israel with rockets, they should bear responsibility for any further casualties. A solution can only be found in two ways: Peacefully or through utter destruction. At the moment, it seems like the latter holds sway.

Haiku x 3

2006-07-20T00:05:00.000+02:00

For those of you who don't know, a haiku is a short poem consisting of nine syllables. On a recent 20 hour drive from Harrismith to Grahamstown, Mutt and I lost our minds. This resulted in the creation of a number of these enigmatic works of literary genius. Here are a few for your reading pleasure.

Haiku #1

Do not Fuck
with Saddam,
You will die.

Haiku #2

Smoking weed
in the car.
I am High.

Haiku #3

Roadkill is
a Buzzkill.
Count me out.

War in the Middle East

2006-07-14T09:25:00.000+02:00

I often find myself at a crossroads between my identity as an Israeli Citizen, and as a liberal thinker in that it is often difficult for me to rationalise and justify the positions and policies of the Israeli Government in my own mind. I am often drawn into thinking of Israel's relation to the Palestinian people in terms of a severe economic, military and structural disparity, and often find myself justifying the terrorism of the palestinians because of these "disparities".

Yet, I can't deny my strong emotional connection to the land. I can't deny my family heritage as fighters for the state of Israel. I can't deny that i love the land of Israel with every fiber of my being, far exceeding the love i have for the country in which i live. So, I won't deny it.

I support the policies of the Israeli Government. My heart goes out to the soldiers, who give of their all to protect the land of Israel. They fight for the protection of all Jewish People around the world.

So, essentially, I am making the following statement:

I am pro-Israel.

Revelation X

2006-07-11T19:42:00.000+02:00

I have found that when I go travelling, I feel like i'm on a quest for discovery. A mission that ultimately results in a new understanding of myself. This discovery is generally something that relates specifically to me - a new like or dislike, maybe a new piece of music that really speaks to me, a book that inspires me, maybe even new quality or characteristic that emerges in different social dynamics to which i have been exposed. For me, I feel that travelling in any form catalyses important revelations for the individual and dramatically affects that way that he positions himself in the world that surrounds him.

In light of this, my return from my winter travels to Grahamstown and the Drakensberg, have left me in an uncertain state of mind. Over the last fortnight, I have seen sights that have changed me. In Grahamstown, I felt privileged to witness the best that South African Culture had to offer - I was a spectator to a relentless onslaught of the best drama, physical theatre, comedy and music that i have ever seen in my life. My mind was expanded and stretched in ways that i barely understand. It was a truly revelatory experience.

In the Drakensberg, I chilled out and went hiking. I suck at hiking - i keep on slipping into rivers and getting my shoes and socks sopping wet. But i already knew that- so no discovery there.

Whatever..My point is this: I haven't left my house yet since i got in a few hours ago. Tomorrow, I step back into the rat race that is my life in Johannesburg, and i hope, with every fibre in my body, that i would have discovered a "new" me on this trip. I hope that i've discovered enough about myself to reposition myself for a successful remainder of the year.

Tomorrow, my world changes.

Jeff Buckley rules.

Voyage to the Unknown

2006-06-26T22:20:00.000+02:00

Dearest Reader,

El Hermo, the blasphemous blogger, has, as of tomorrow, set off on a road trip to the Grahamstown Festival and the Drakensberg.

Whether he shall return is unknown even to him, yet he has undertook an oath to experience new and great things, to take many pictures and even keep some form of journal with which he will attempt to chronicle certain adventures and relay them back to whomever cares to read them.

It is with great sadness that we wish El Hermo farewell for this two week period, as we have come to be inspired and our lives illuminated by the precious contribution made by this heroic individual to our lives.

By the time he has returned, England will have won the world cup.

Warmest Regards,

Management

The Hugest Cockblock Ever Perpetrated

2006-06-25T19:15:00.000+02:00

I have just returned from the national Seminar of the student union in which i am involved, an annual weekend of baseless and empty debauchery. Filled with a constant flow of alcoholic lubrication, the harsh wafting stench of smoked marijuana, and the unabashed sordidness of +/- 100 students. It is a weekend that i generally mark on my calender with great excitement, anticipating tremendous fun and joy unconfined.

This excitement sort of fizzled out when the hugest cockblock ever perpetrated was perpetrated. That shit was just wrong.

Thou shalt not cockblock.

So Speaketh El Hermo

Only the Bookseller is Supreme

2006-06-19T00:07:00.000+02:00

I can tell when its holidays when i get my customary sore throat. Getting sick in the holidays - Its my thing. When i was in Standard two and on my April Holidays, i got so sick that I even had to go to hospital for a week. That was cool. It wasn't like i was going to die- I had simply become afflicted by some wierd ass viral infection. I ate crap hospital food and bounced around the children's ward, with an I.V. loosely inserted into my arm . My lasting memory of that awesome time is the Steers meal that my parents smuggled into the hospital on account of my refusal to eat the hospital food. I remember eating that burger. It was awesome. Steers Rules. Hospital food sucks.

In light of the fact that this episode is possibly one of my worst holiday experiences, my current sore throat enables me to reflect on all those times where illness and vacation, suffering and salvation, have irrefutably intersected, and wreaked havoc with my sensibilities. One of the things i am always made to feel guilty about, is how, when i was 1 year old and on an extended family vacation to Germany, i was so sick that my family just didn't know what to do with me. One of the options that they explored to try and solve the problem was to look into the possibility of abandoning me in some Lutheran Monastery, where an assortment of priests, monks and nuns, would perform an exorcism and other ritual acts on my toddlerish personage. However, this didn't quite pan out and eventually i got better.

But I bet you thought those fundamentalist fucks were gonna get their grimy hands on me.

-------------------------------------------

I'm on serious bookselling form at the moment.
And i think its giving me a sore throat.

Bookselling mangles innards, yet i am the master innard mangler.

What if the iranian national anthem was written by the worst hip-hop artist in the world?

2006-06-17T20:30:00.000+02:00

Iran, Iran
your fields of oil
doth radiate
like silver foil
your nuclear plan
will never cease
anger against you
will increase

Durka Durka
Jihad Durka
I wanna get down
in your burka

Heresy

2006-06-11T23:52:00.000+02:00

Is it just me, or aren't you finding that a lot of these liberal conspiracy theorists are overstepping their very limited bounds?

Only the other day, I encountered a person who told me that cheap tours to Israel organised by religious groups (whose names i will not mention, cause i'm not like that...anymore) have an ulterior motive. He said that their whole gig is to like lure people to Israel by offering them really cheap tours, and then to subtly indoctrinate them in strict Jewish orthodoxy, hence leading to the members of this tour group in becoming more religious, and ultimately leading to a further polarisation of the Jewish Community of South Africa.

I was flabbergasted. I was shocked.
How can anyone think like that?

Its obvious to me, at least, that the main Orthodox Sects in our community do not have a vested interest in indoctrinating people to become more religious. Don't you know that these sects have no craving for a larger influence in the sphere of community life? It is blatantly obvious that they are offering these really cheap tours to Israel, a place of vast spiritual and ideological significance for all Jews, with an intention that is completely altruistic and not, I repeat, not self-serving.

In addition to this, I have it on authority that a certain tour to Israel organised by an Orthodox organisation based their tour in one of the most accepting, tolerant communities in the Jewish World - Mea Shearim in Jerusalem. Did you know that the members of this community spit on you if you dress immodestly? Did you know that they throw rocks on your car if you drive on the Sabbath? By basing their tour in this area, the Orthodox Sect that organise these tours are most definitely promoting a sense of Jewish Consciousness that is tolerant and accepting of people from all spheres of Jewish Life and all levels of observance. The insinuation that you are forcing your tour group to adapt to a higher standard of religious observance by basing them in Mea Shearim is purely nonsense.

I also heard that these tours are a huge jol - that they let you out to party the night away in Jerusalem, and you have normal access to booze and other accessories of sin. Thats sounds so awesome. The suggestion that these tours try to disguise their supposed 'indoctrination' by letting the group party themselves into a stupor is nothing short of preposterous.

Cheap Tours to Israel organised by Orthodox Groups do not have an ulterior motive.

But wouldn't it be cool if they did?
It would be awesome.
There would be a revolution...

Echoes in Cyberspace

2006-06-08T15:37:00.001+02:00

I'm a very naughty man.

I should be studying at this very moment about the critical third wave of feminist thought, or the mimicry of the colonial subject. But i'd rather sit here, in front of the computer, typing up something that i can post on my blog. I would rather pipe up with some of my trademark moanings about all the issues that affect my life, my community and the world, than sit down and study about the post colonial and gender based blabberings of self-obsessed academics.

I can give you two reasons for this inability to apply myself to my study at this present moment:
Women and Fiction. I know, I know, Virginia Woolf said it first. And i quote, "Women and Fiction, Women and Fiction, Women and Fiction" and in addition to that, "nananablablabla". But seriously, how does this business of women and fiction truly affect my life? What is it about these two diverse, yet multiple concepts that prevent me from applying myself to my studies?

Well, the answer to this question exists on many levels. The answer is manifold and multiple, establishing absent centres in the dark crevasses of my being. The answer is post colonial and post modern at the same time, leading to an intersection that is in itself impassable.

Who or What is "Women"? What is this notion, this concept that informs the reality? I'll tell you. It is the unknowable, the indefinable, the inexplicable - it is that which is simultaneously other, and yet alike. The concept escapes understanding, yets presents its other, "men", with the certainty of its existence, the basic goal of humanity. In other words, H-Levels are up. Without me getting lewd in terms of an explanation, i would encourage you to visit this informative site.

And now to the second point, the role of "fiction" in my ultimate laziness. Ah - fiction. The desire to be dually authentic and inauthentic is a strong need of mine. I need to feel as I am subtly procuring support for myself from the idea that i am subtly influencing millions of people through my fictive writing. But there is one problem in that there is nothing fictional about anything that i write. Sure, there is an element of hyperrealism in my narratives - but this is more of an exaggeration of my real lived experience, than fiction. Or is it?

Are you destabilised? I guess not - because in the past week, traffic on my blog is down to zero. I'm all alone in the blogsphere (this is a second hand quote - because i heard it from someone who heard it from someone - can't say names because i need to preserve anonymity), and i sort of feel that if i'm not being controversial than people don't really care to hear what i've got to say. Are there no people that appreciate my tales of woe? Do my fictive, yet biographical narratives of despair evoke no real response from the masses?

Alas, the jog of the hog in the foggy bog goes unwatched, unheard by all.
No one really cares what goes on downstairs.
And, all i make out of this mess is an echo.
If i'm the only one listening to it, then i have to admit that it sounds pretty sweet.

We'll see this in the World Cup Final

2006-06-04T20:34:00.000+02:00

Bleek Fissure

2006-06-04T00:40:00.000+02:00

I thought things were going smoothly. I had had a reasonable time at the barmitzvah - a glass of whisky was all i needed to compensate for the alarming swell of pre-teen activity around me. I was hanging out with my friends, chatting, eating - all was good.

But then i decided to leave - and that is when the shnitzel frogged outwards to the max.

I walk to my car. I get in my car. I sit in my car. Insert key. I change gear. But i can't change gear, my gear is stuck. My car is stuck. I am stuck.

Fuck.

El Hermo's Movie Recommendations 2

2006-06-01T00:23:00.000+02:00

I have a feeling that i should make my movie recommendations a monthly effort. I do this in the hope of transforming the citizens of earth into my minions, so that they may become my army. (Spoiler warning)

1) Apocalypse Now - This is a mad film. It gave me my thousand yard stare, and vietnam flashbacks. Kurtz - what a psycho legend. A masterpiece.

2) X-Men 3 - The first real X-men movie - enough of that character driven, i want wolverine to have a soul bullshit. I only have the desire to see his claws inside the nearest evil mutant - and this movie fulfills that desire. Shadowcat is a babe - yet, Phoenix is an omega level belter - who kills everyone, and that makes her that much more desirable.

3) 28 Days later - I love that image of London totally deserted. The utter insanity of the city is contained and controlled - by mindless, cannabilistic zombies. Western Civilisation destroyed. Haunting, yet super sweet.

4) Donnie Darko - Why are you wearing that stupid man suit?

5) The Bourne Identity - Watch the movie again and pay attention to the song that plays right at the end as the credits roll. I think its a Moby tune. I must say that it is perhaps the coolest end credits music ever, and as such, makes this film worth watching multiple times.

So far right that i've left.

2006-05-28T23:13:00.000+02:00

Having discovered blogging at the end of last year, I must say that i have been quite impressed with the whole project. Think about it...millions of people all over the world being able to express themselves on a global platform. People writing what they want and being able to put it out for the entire world to see. I like the feeling - it is freedom on an enormous scale, individuality unconfined.

However, i must admit that it is a bit overwhelming. I mean, the checks normally imposed on the writer in the general publishing process do not exist. Who can stop you from publishing hurtful material like hate speech or gossip? No one. No supervisor, editor, nothing. Complete creative autonomy is given to the blog author who can say whatever he pleases.

From personal experience, i must say that the will to publish what is in your heart often supersedes the will to protect private or public interests from publication and analysis. The ability to be who you are and say what is on your mind is not one that should be lightly discarded, and is a crucial tenet of a liberal and democratic society. Having said that, I do believe that the writer should be responsible to write in a way that is not overtly harmful to his vested social interests, and should not write about issues from a prejudiced perspective or in a manner that affects both his social standing and reputation, as well as vested personal and private interests.

That said, it is crucial that people are unafraid to express their opinions about important and controversial issues, and are able to do so without reproach. The benefit of this approach is the creation of an open-minded and progressive society, that is constantly developing for the better.

It is easy to see a contradiction in this: On the one hand, I'm suggesting that people should be aware of the sensitivities of other groups of society and work without offending these sensitive groups, while on the other hand, i'm saying that people should be allowed to have and express opinions about controversial issues that may be offensive to these groups. However, I argue that compromise should be sought on both sides of the argument, that conservative individuals or groups should become less sensitive and adopt a more open minded approach to discussions that are controversial and taboo, and that opinionated liberals be careful so as not to allow their opinion to be construed as hate speech.

My final point is the concession that my view is "Idealistic" in that it is a view that demands the solution to the eternal conflict between reactionary and revolutionary opinons. It is a view, which i am sure most of you will agree, has no basis in reality given the constant disparities of the human condition. However, i must argue that the desire for a balanced and open society/community is a real need. In addition to this, it must be made clear that this desire only exists because of the lack of balance and openness within our socio-communal arena.

Some of the readers of this article may say that this opinion is "left wing", while i believe that it is middle of the road. The fact that people consider this sort of thought to be leftist proves the immense schism in our society between conservatism (religious and political) and liberalism (religious and political). I think that these polarities need to be broken down, rather than reinforced, and I also think that England are going to win the world cup.

I'm down with the Captain

2006-05-26T18:52:00.000+02:00

I feel that it is time to start facing reality.

The middle East Crisis can never be solved.
Parochial and elitist groups will remain parochial and elitist.
Islamic Fundamentalism will never be ended.
Secularism will always be considered inferior to non-secularism or religion.
Money will always talk.

These are simple and common realities.
This is the inescapable and all-consuming truth.
There is no solution to these problems. There is no compromise.
No hope to affect change. No hope to make a difference.

Only the corpse of Idealism hanging from the gallows, the rope twisting and mangling any memory of what it used to mean.

We live in an ideal world.
Surprising that we can't be idealistic.

---------------------------

Even though they lost 2-1 to Belarus, England will still win the world cup. Spain will also do well. Ivory Coast and Australia will both qualify from their groups. Czech Republic to get knocked out first round.

Let them drink blood

2006-05-22T23:01:00.000+02:00

somehow, it feels different today.
the world is always turning and making itself crazy but somehow i don't get it.
Why should i feel like a turnip? Why?
Stupid Turnips ruin my life. I tripped over one at the bank the other day.
But i was totally cool. Until i fell into a cavernous valley swarming with coyotes.
I was thinking let the man not envelope his anger into an envelope of doom.
I was thinking tabasco fury lights the radiant flame of terror.

But i wasn't thinking.
I wasn't thinking at all.
In fact, I was unthinking.
I was lost in unthought.
Unthinking kicks ass.
And i was loving it like i would always love it.

As i was saying, i was felled by a turnip.
I slipped. It slipped me up.
Turnip - i defy you, you beast of the dark lands! You evil manifestation of historical materialism! Numb,

I watched Tv. I chose the channel - It was E.
The movie about vampirism - that was fucked up.
People drinking blood for fun - thats fucked.
Who am i to judge them?
Let them drink blood, said marie antoinette.
And you thought the Fr-Rev happened because they wanted freedom?
Say this in a whisper - Its the vampires of paris that caused it.
They done gone and caused the revolution.

Would it make you uncomfortable if i spoke about fundamentalist hegemony in this post?
I'm sure it would - you can't merge these topics together easily. I even think its wrong. So wrong, that i'm not gonna talk about it.

So wrong, that i'm even writing about this internal struggle i'm having. I don't know whether its okay put out the shit that i've been putting out. I write in the extreme sense of who i am. I've been writing crazy wierd shit - and i'm pretty weird, i acknowledge. But, really, i'm not a loony who eats bugs and crab sushi. Somehow, its just this writing voice that is like this. Its just this voice that is totally out of control. So, while I admire my writing voice - it is very brave after all, i can't help but feel that it sends out the absolute extreme representation of me. I guess thats cool if u can appreciate how strange most this stuff is, then maybe you can cut through the bullshit and see me. If you can't see me at all, if all you see is the mad shit, then i am a sad panda.

I'm not a crazy person.
Or I'm crazy, but you dig me for it.
Or I'm crazy and u hate me. But don't hate me.

Pity the fool...

2006-05-17T14:42:00.000+02:00

Just wanna wish all you bitches good luck for exams.

I hope that everyone fails and that i pass, so that i can take your jobs and make a fortune.

It doesn't even matter that we don't study the same degree. The employer will just know that i can do your job better than you can.

Exams suck epic balls.

Who is the most influential man of our time?

2006-05-16T23:20:00.000+02:00

I don't have anything to write about at the moment. I'm at a loss for subject matter. So I'm just going to waste some more time and write some of my reflections on life in the past few weeks in point form.

What if Snoopy was mistreated and abused by Charlie Brown? Charlie Brown is potentially the biggest loser ever, and Snoopy is definitely cooler than him. Surely, Charlie would have treated him badly in order to gain parity with Snoopy. Charlie Brown Sucks.
Why didn't BA Baracus lead the A-Team? He's probably the strongest dude on the team, and would've probably beaten all those other skinny white dudes into dust. Why did he have to take his cue from the chain smoking Granpa? That is ridiculous.
X-men 3 has got to be the best movie that will be made this year. It has to be. There is so much hype. It cannot fail. The Phoenix will rise again and Cyclops will be killed. By the way, I read Comic Books. For those of you who don't know. Comic Books are the best thing ever. There is a huge market for trade paper back graphic novels at the moment, and there is some really kickass shit out there.

Thats all from me. Hopefully, I will post more interesting things in the near future.

England will win the World Cup.

2006-05-10T10:55:00.000+02:00

Wayne Rooney may be injured. However, the fallacy lies in believing that there are no other players who are world class enough to take the world cup by Storm. In my opinion, Joe Cole has the quality to set the tournament alight. Steven Gerrard and Frank Lampard are still arguably 2 of the top 5 midfielders in Europe. David Beckham has been, for a long time i might add, the best crosser and passer of the ball in Europe. In addition to this stellar midfield, the England Defence has approximately 300 international caps between them and the experience of having played in prior international tournaments. Sol Campbell, Rio Ferdinand and John Terry represent 3 of the best central defenders in the world.

But I understand the despondent England Fan's concern that this will not be enough. I understand the concern that a fit and firing attack led by Wayne Rooney and Michael Owen is integral to England's world Cup Hopes. It is in attack that i believe that Sven Goran Eriksson has made the right decision, given the injuries to Rooney and Owen. He knows that players like Jermain Defoe and Darren Bent will not be good enough to lead the England attack at the World Cup, he has seen them before and none of them have set the international stage alight. Enter Theo Walcott - Not only an unknown quantity to the English Public, but to the international opposition as well. Rooney, the other countries may have worked out a plan to neutralize, but they could never have worked out such a plan without actually seeing Walcott in action. It is in this decision that England's world cup hopes are saved. The selection of Peter Crouch over Defoe, Bent etc may raise some eyebrows, but he has been selected because he is a legend who will rule at the world cup. My other key selection is that of Aaron Lennon - I got his autograph at Heathrow last July and he's fucking brilliant.

In conclusion, England will (please god) win the world cup. Obviously, the chance remains that they will get knocked out in the semifinals on penalties to Brazil - but thats a risk i'm ready to take.

Football's coming home.